


champions of the just

by heonied



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dragon Age Fusion, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Blood and Gore, Death, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2020-01-14 13:19:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18477037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heonied/pseuds/heonied
Summary: blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter.blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just.dragon age inquisition au, where members of monsta x fight for the inquisition, or against it.





	1. foul and corrupt

**Author's Note:**

> this work is a merge of monsta x and the dragon age world, two things i love most in this world.  
> i hope you enjoy.

> _Foul and corrupt are you_  
>  _Who have taken My gift_  
>  _And turned it against My children._  
>  _—Transfigurations_  18:10.

 

`    **I**. `the sandstorms had been a frequent visitor in the plains of the western approach and kihyun had gotten all well used to squinting his eyes until his vision was barely there. it was another story when the winds blew sand in your eyes, as flocks of arrows were coming in from the same direction.

'on your right!' hyungwon exclaimed and before kihyun could turn his head, he felt all his hairs tingle as a bolt of lighting hit the man running at him. the attacker fell to his knees, his eyes wide open, only to fall completely to the ground right after, his limbs twitching as electricity still roamed his body.

kihyun reflectively moved his hands to form a barrier, as he looked around to find his staff. 

the arrows were coming at a slower pace now, the venatori soldiers making quick work of the troops attacking them. most of them were elven, kihyun noticed, too fragile to handle more than one blow from the protector's giant greatswords and hammers. 

every time kihyun would see a life so senselessly and quickly taken from someone, heard the crack of their brittle bones, his whole body would shiver, realising just how weak he too was. 

as his eyes drifted from the bodies lying in front of him, back towards the camp, he searched for an opportunity to run towards safety.

an archer fired arrows at the soldiers fighting in front of them, putting one in the leg of a man in their ranks. as he fell to the ground the archer reached to draw another arrow but before it left the quiver, it froze, and so did the man holding it. kihyun's hand formed into a tight fist, feeling the cold racing through his vains. the ice making an unpleasant noise as it covered the enemy whole, making him look almost as a statue. until it shattered into a thousand little pieces, when a large warhammer came down to smash at his side.

hyungwon grabbed kihyun's arm, startling him and almost making him reflexively answer with a forcefield. but kihyun quickly recognised the familiar touch and heard the barely audible words. 'follow me.'

kihyun gathered all the strength and mana he had left to keep his barrier up as they both ran through the sand, towards the closest structure of the camp, hand in hand, praying not to be hit by anything.

a loud puff, right to their left and a dark cloud that immediately clawed at kihyun's lungs as he inhaled. not sand, but something thicker, as if dust and smoke combined. and then he heard a painful shout, coming from somewhere way too close. 

it happened in seconds, maybe less. or maybe kihyun had just ignored all presence of time, but before he knew it, he was watching a dagger be pulled out of hyungwon's shoulderblade fresh crimson blood covering it and quickly soaking through hyungwon's samite coat.

 

the assassin was a short girl. a dwarf, kihyun believed, although this had been his first time seeing one. her face was small, her cheeks puffy and her hair was like fire. leather armor now torn apart, as a gaping wound exposed her right hipbone, another trail of blood slowly dripping down the side of her cheek, from where her skull had been split open. 

kihyun stood there looking down at her corpse, breathing heavy and laboured and it took a fiery explosion tearing someone apart a few feet behind his back for him to regain his mind and look away. 

hyungwon was lying in the sand, his tall silhouette curled up in a pitiful position, as his arm tried to reach to his back, hand glowing green but not bright enough to assume it was actually helping much. 

kihyun fell to his knees next to him, eyes chaotically scanning hyungwon's body. he grabbed the boy's wrist, yanking it back from where it was trying to reach his wound, his own hand shakily tearing a piece of fabric back to see how bad it was. 

'shit.' kihyun swore ' _fuck_.'

hyungwon only whined at the non-delicate way his friend was handling him. 

'get up.' kihyun commanded in a broken voice as he slipped his arm under hyungwon's side. 'please. you have to get up.' 

it was the most awkward position to walk in, hyungwon leaning on kihyun and whincing in pain with every move of his arm, the older boy leading him away, as quick as he can, towards the nearest tent. 

the desert made it harder for them, dragging their feet through the sand as it tried to pull them back. he thought the fighting had died down, heard less clashes, less shouting with every step away from the battlefield. 

a man came running straight at them. sword high in the air and a battlecry on his lips. kihyun saw him from far away, saw as he got closer and closer. the mage's hand coming into a fist, trying to channel magic through a staff that was not there. as if his mind went blank, he made no other attempt to protect them. only closed his eyes and turned his head as he saw the sword come down at him.

then the sound of metal sinking into flesh, except he couldn't find any source of pain in his body. he opened his eyes and the man fell to his knees right before him, blood splattering all over kihyun's boots. 

a venatori foot soldier nodded his head at kihyun after spitting on the corpse and left as fast as he appeared.

 

hyungwon cried out as he lied down on his side, eyes shut and eyebrows knitted in a painful expression. 

'stay with me.' kihyun whispered, almost too quiet to be heard. 

he grabbed the first dagger he saw in the tent, eyes searching for medical supplies but finding none. only weapons, and bottles of tevinter wine, dirty leathers tossed around meant to serve as beds. 

he cut through hyungwon's coat, tearing a hole in the material with no regard to the fact he knew it was hyungwon's favourite. hand crafted for him. 

blood gushed out from the wound as kihyun touched it, hands shaking as he tried to think of how to stop it. hyungwon only hissed, quietly as his eyes fluttered. he let out a heavy sigh, that was halfway cut off. 

'hyungwon?' 

kihyun grabbed the boy's arm and squeezed it. 

'won?'

his eyes were closed but no longer squeezed tight, muscles relaxing under kihyun's touch. 

'no. no, no, no.' kihyun repeated, tears forming in his eyes as he desperately grabbed at hyungwon, trying to heal his wounds with magic, to bring him back. 

it was no use. kihyun leaned back, inhaling deeply, filling his lungs with air for what felt like the first time since the fighting started. the entrance of the tent flapped loudly as the wind blew in, sending sand inside in small puffs. 

kihyun's hand grabbed the knife he had used to cut hyungwon's clothes, his eyes closed as he stabilised his breathing. 

one, two, three, four seconds. six more. two more deep breaths, the shaking of his hand as it lifted the knife up to his skin. 

bloodstone. what the knife was made out of. he was no craftsman, but he could tell. how fitting.

last deep inhale, before a strong sting in his palm. he opened his eyes and the blood driplets danced around him so beautifully, yet his vision was flashing red, driving him mad as he tried to control it.

hands landing on hyungwon's skin, his wound, his forehead, before kihyun let out the force of energy he had summoned. it washed away as if a wave crashing into the shore. it was almost painful, he could feel his veins be drained, his lungs deflate, a weird bitter taste appearing in his mouth. his mind spinning as the world slowly came back to its natural colours. 

he heard deep inhale, one of a man who had been underwater until his were lungs screaming for oxygen. 

hyungwon coughed and whined as his hand went to grip onto the nearest surface. 

kihyun fell back to his knees, palm bleeding slowly onto the sandy surface beneath then. 

hyungwon's cough brought the remains of kihyun's consciousness back, but he had no idea how much time had passed. 

'did you get hurt?' hyungwon's doe eyes were staring at kihyun's hand, full of concern, as if he hadn't just almost died himself. dark locks falling onto his face, less sweaty now, sand still sticking to it, as it did to everything in this forsaken place. 

'no.' kihyun smiled, wiping the blood off on his pants. 'you did.' 

'that explains the horrendous pain.' hyungwon chuckled before hissing quietly as he tried to sit up.

kihyun put a hand on his chest, lightly pushing him back.

'you need rest-'

'sir.' 

one of the camp's spellbinders walked through the entrance to the tent, nodding his head at hyungwon with respect. 

what followed was another man, with a hand tangled in an elven boy's hair, dragging him in only to make him fall to his knees in the middle of the tent before hyungwon.

the young mage sat up properly, sending a questioning look at the visitors.

'this one survived the fighting.' the spellbinder reported, voice low and unpleasant. 'he refuses to reveal any information.'

hyungwon stood up, holding back the pain and trying not to let it show, but kihyun could see through it.

'who sent you?' he asked calmly, as he approached the boy and lifted his chin up to look him in the eye.

he wore light leather armor, with green woolen pants and a hood that was now hanging on his back to reveal a head full of platinum curls.

pretty enough, hyungwon thought, but his eyes were filled with hatred.

hyungwon took his silence for an answer. 

'if this attack was supposed to be, at the very least, a message to us-' hyungwon smiled at him 'i would like to know who sent it.'

the elf looked up at him, teeth gritted. 

'the _fucking_ inquisition, assholes.' the elf answered eyes scanning both him and kihyun. loud and clear and hyungwon chuckled audibly, before a long silence ensued.

'take him away.' hyungwon commanded the venatori, and kihyun could not help but stare at the boy and pity him, deep inside.

'what would you have us do with him, sir?' the soldier spoke up, the spellbinder answering before hyungwon could.

'the elder one demands his death.' 

hyungwon eyed the man coldly. 

'the elder one should demand him questioned instead.' he spat back. a moment of silence ensued, as the venatori agents looked at each other. 

'and even if he doesn't, _i do_.'

the spellbinder nodded and bowed politely at hyungwon, before they left the tent, the elf dragged with them, still struggling despite having no chances of escaping the tight grip.

and kihyun could not help but follow him with his eyes, until the three of them were gone amongst the sands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading, if you somehow found your way here. i really appreciate it.  
> this chapter is relatively short compared to future ones.  
> but i thought it could do, for an introduction.
> 
> do leave a comment, if you have any thoughts or questions x


	2. the well of all souls

> _Come to me, child, and I shall embrace you.  
>  In my arms lies Eternity._   
>  _— Andraste 14:11_

 

`  **II**`. the torches' light flickered upon shownu's face, his cheekbones defined, greyish skin soft despite the scars decorating it. his lips were pressed tightly together.

'how many?'

'all of them.' wonho answered, voice filled with grief. 'nothing but corpses were found. a few are unaccounted for but-'

he sighed, and shownu's eyes stayed on him, waiting for the man to finish his sentence.

'but the winds have been strong there. the rest are likely buried under the sands.'

shownu nodded slowly, eyes wandering around the hallway, trying to chase away the tears that have formed in them, distorting his vision slightly.

'the spymaster needs to be notified.' shownu hummed absent-mindedly. 

'she has... as have the rest of our agents.' wonho replied, his voice broken and starting to shake.

shownu's eyes narrowed. 'am i the last one finding out about this?'

wonho's mouth opened, and then closed, his teeth coming out to bite his bottom lip lightly. 'the scouts announced it in front of many other soldiers, i did not have time to pull them aside to-'

'it's alright.' shownu sighed, seeing the panic his friend had been sent into. 'i understand.'

he walked off towards the entrance, shadows dancing in the corridor all around him. wonho stayed where he stood, breathing heavy as he tried to regain his composure.

_our soldiers know what they're fighting for. they know the cost._

the spymaster's words echoed through shownu's mind, like his steps did in the deserted halls of skyhold.

but is that enough to justify it? is war ever enough to justify so much death?

it was his mistake. not enough forces sent, too few scouts, lacking in the technique, training, leadership too weak. he underestimated the enemy and others paid for it. 

he walked up the stairs of the watchtower, each step heavier and harder to make. someone in the library, reading a book under the dim light of a candle, too engaged in it to spare shownu a look. 

he opened the door lightly, not stepping inside the room just yet, seeing if anyone will answer. 

'sister leliana?' he called out, not too loudly as if not truly wishing to be heard.

'come in.' came the reply, voice peaceful and sweet as ever. 

shownu opened the door wider and stepped in, his eyes scanning through the room.

'i will assume you know already.' the spymaster spoke softly, her back turned on shownu as she kneeled before an altar, candles all around making her silhouette visible in the darkness. 

'i did not mean to intrude.' shownu took a step back seeing her, as he assumed, in the middle of prayer.

the altar looked almost as if it were burning, two statues surrounding it, watching with stone cold eyes as anyone approached. the rest of the room was swallowed in the darkness of the night, the moonlight shining through only to light a dozen of cages and sleeping birds with a white glow. the flapping of their wings always made shownu feel unnerved. 

'you didn't.' she answered simply, getting back up from her knees and facing the qunari, hand gracefuly swiping a strand of red hair from her face.

she looked at him for a few seconds, before her eyes turned sad.

'i am very sorry.'

shownu felt a lump form in his throat.

'me too.'

'were you close?' 

he took a deep breath, and the room was so silent he could swear he heard it bounce off the walls.

'with most of them, yes.' his jaw clenched 'but they were all under my command. all good men and women.'

'this war will take lives from many more good men and women.' sister leliana answered, looking away. 

'i won't have it be due to my mistakes.' he spoke up, voice harsh and aggresive, almost disrespectful. she eyed him, surprised.

'i know when to admit a failure. i sent them there and not one of them survived. not even-' he took another breath, straightening his posture. 'i am their commander and they died without me on the field. i should be punished for it.'

leliana stared at him, deep in thought. shownu lowered his head, waiting for her sentence.

'have you come here just after you've found out?' 

he nodded. she looked at him with unwanted pity.

'you should go. be with your men tonight. there are many more battles to come, tomorrow too.' 

he tried to protest but she cut him off before could. 'that was a command.'

he regained his manners and bowed lightly, knowing this is another fight he did not manage to win. 'yes, my lady.'

 

wonho stood on the battlefields outside their quarters, gazing off onto the empty mountains that surrounded the keep. 

his breath fogged in thick puffs each time he released it, watching it disappear in the air before him. the mountains were covered with snow, he could only imagine how thick the layer was, but somehow most of skyhold was free of it, greenish grass growing where countless footsteps haven't killed it and leaves turned all shades of orange covering the trees. 

it felt warm in the courtyard, just from looking at it, even though it was just as freezing as outside the fortress. 

a shadow approached him, silently and slowly, leaning down on the brick wall to his right. 

they stood there in silence for minutes, both looking ahead, as if there was anything to look at. 

'i can't imagine this place without him.' wonho spoke up, quietly, afraid to disturb the silence 'his jokes and stupid pranks.' 

'i know.' shownu replied, voice heavy with sadness.

'the way he always challenged everything you said.' wonho laughed lightly and shownu couldn't help but smile too. 

'i shouldn't have sent him there. i should have never let him go on his own.'

'minhyuk wasn't on his own.' wonho shook his head ' _we_ just weren't there with him.' 

silence again, hanging heavy in the air.

wonho turned his head to look at shownu at last, his soft features barely visible in the dark of night. shownu was glad he could not see what lied inside his eyes at that moment. it might have broken what was left of his heart.

'i blame myself too.' the mage said 'but we can't let it kill us as well.' 

his hand grazed over shownu's for a moment, so cold and pale in comparison.

they looked at each other for just a second before wonho walked away, and it was enough to comfort him in the smallest, most needed way. 

 

 `   **III**`. one could not ask for a more perfect day in the exalted plains, the sun's warm embrace engulfing every corner of the dalish camp, red aravels glistening in the light. 

yet the mood was solemn, no conversation, no joy. jooheon stood at the edge of the river, the refreshing waters inviting him to jump in, or take a sip. 

his daggers hung heavy on his back, as he tried to remain vigilant.

'no sign of taven anywhere, keeper.' he heard a barely audible voice somewhere behind him and seconds later a figure approached him.

'had fun with nissa?' jooheon asked bitterly. 

changkyun looked at him, silent for a moment almost as if he had no intentions of answering. 

'if i didn't know better, i'd say you were jealous.' he finally replied, squatting down next to the river and letting his hand touch the water gently. 

'doesn't make much sense how he sends you and her out, when you two can't fight for shit.' 

changkyun's hand formed into a fist, splashing some of the water in his own face. 

'i am perfectly capable of defending myself.' 

'not when a bunch of crazed templars are running at you.' jooheon spat back 'or the demons surround you, waiting their turn to possess you.' 

changkyun stood up abruptly, facing the older boy. 

'even then.' he said, each word slowly so that jooheon finally understood 'i don't need you at my side to survive and i certainly don't need you to protect me.'

that seemed to hit him, as the boy went quiet and just stared at changkyun, who took a deep breath and prepared to walk off. 

'have an eventful lookout.' he added bitterly, feeling empowered by jooheon's silence.

'shems approaching.' 

'what?' changkyun turned around, beaten off track by jooheon's sudden announcement.

'notify the keeper. they're armed.' he said, voice serious as his hands pulled out both of his daggers and started walking towards the intruders. 

 

jooheon stood behind the four visitors, eyeing each of them and their weapons carefully as the one who seemed to be the leader calmly spoke to the keeper.

 _andaran atish'an._ the keeper welcomed them but jooheon wasn't one for niceties, even if the man was an elf too, small dalish tattoos doning his face, he was still a stranger. and jooheon was tired of strangers, stealing, killing, forcing them to move.

'find the boy, and i may consider our alliance.' the keeper told the strangers of taven's disappearance, talked about the tombs where the mage was headed. and then his eyes came to rest on changkyun. 

'one of my people will lead you the way.' the elf did not hide his surprise 'he is to become my first if taven does not return, mythal protect him... i put great trust in this boy, if he deems you worthy, you will be welcome amongst us.' 

'keeper.' jooheon spoke up and everyone's attention turned to him 'allow me to go with them.'

changkyun rolled his eyes, still remembering their earlier exchange. 

'the more the merrier.' one of the strangers spoke up, tan, in fanciful clothing that seemed like it would be more of a liability in a fight than a practicality. 

'we will return soon. thank you.' their leader bowed politely, rays of sun bouncing off the carved plate of armor on his chest. an eye, pierced with a sword and surrounded by fire. changkyun wondered if it was a chantry symbol that he had never seen before. 

the keeper nodded politely. 'may you return successful as well, inquisitor.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it isn't often that shownu and wonho are used in fics instead of their birthnames, but i chose it as i felt it would be more fitting for their characters. shownu being a qunari (as they aren't given any names under the qun, for those who do not know) and wonho picking his to separate his old life from his new.  
> hope it isn't jarring for anyone reading. 
> 
> this is the second introduction-ish chapter, so i could establish where all the characters are and introduce them. 
> 
> just to make it clearer: shownu, a qunari warrior, wonho, a circle mage and minhyuk, a city elf are all part of the inquisition, under shownu's command. kihyun and hyungwon are tevinter mages, fighting with the venatori to regain a keep in the weatern approach, hyungwon is also the son of a magister. and jooheon and changkyun are dalish elves, as you can see, with changkyun being one of the two younger mages in the clan. 
> 
> this is just an outlet for me to create a fun world that combines both things i love, but if you are reading this and tuning in for updates, thank you very much ♡


	3. the last sacrifice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [hey, so here's my shitty drawing of dalish elf changkyun. ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D-bEOgXX4AAlebK.jpg)  
> hope you enjoy this chapter!

> _Let the blade pass through the flesh,_   
>  _Let my blood touch the ground,_   
>  _Let my cries touch their hearts. Let mine be the last sacrifice._   
>  _—Andraste 7:12_

 

   ` **IV**`. kihyun stood a few feet away, as the brute punched and kicked the elven boy until he was spitting blood. 

once he was done with him, once he decided it was enough, he moved away, leaving the boy all to kihyun.  the mage swallowed a lump in his throat, blinking away his own painful expression. 

the cave was broad, empty and cold, and it made kihyun's skin crawl. he had not slept well ever since they settled in it. the part the prisoners were kept in was far from the rest of the camp, sealed away enough to block out the screams. 

the elf sat on the ground, his hands chained behind his back, a metal pole supporting his back so his body didn't fall lifelessly to the ground.  blood, dirt and water, all around them and kihyun did not want to move, he did not want to be there at all. 

'all of this will stop.' the mage spoke up, voice soft and not nearly threatening enough 'if you just tell us the plans for the assault.' 

the boy looked up at him, big grey eyes starring past tangled and dirty hair. he opened his mouth and a pathetic little sound came out of it, kihyun could not even call it a whisper. 

'speak up.' 

the boy shook his head and tried to swallow down, his throat painfully sore and dry. 

'come... closer.' he choked out, and kihyun eyed him carefully. 

he didn't want to see what they have done to him up close. the venatori standing behind him looked at kihyun, waiting for a sign. it must have been a pleasure for him, beating up elves. he probably found it fun, like a game. kihyun shivered at the thought. 

he took a step forward, if only to stop the man from jumping to the elf's throat again. two more steps, the boy looking at him, eyes tired and empty, chapped lips pressed tightly together, the corner decorated by dried off blood. kihyun leaned in and waited for him to speak, eyes vigilant, scanning the boy's face and watching the blood drip slow and fresh out of a deep cut on his cheek. 

the elf spat in his face. a smug grin on his lips as he chuckled. then he started coughing, his face quickly filling with pain again and kihyun only managed to take one step back before the elf's white hair was yanked back, the venatori's foot meeting his stomach with a loud thud. 

kihyun shivered, cursed quietly under his nose. he wiped his face, looking away as the sounds of the beating continued right next to him. 

 

'he won't be able to take much more, sir.' the brute spoke up in tevene after what seemed like forever, a small snicker on his lips. 

kihyun's eyes remained closed thus far, the kicks and punches blended in with the elf's cries created a steady rhythm that his ears couldn't tune out no matter how much he wanted them to. trying to think of reasons why this was right and settle down the rage that was boiling in his stomach. his eyes shot open.

'leave. now.' kihyun replied before the man slowly and unsurely made his way out. footsteps echoed off the cave's walls, and the mage waited for them to die down entirely before he moved. 

he was slow and careful, as if the prisoner had any way of hurting him, tied up and barely alive. maybe it wasn't fear of that but fear of actually seeing the brutality they had enforced on him up close. the mage squatted down next to their victim, head tilting slightly to examine his wounds from afar. he could see the boy's eyes flutter until pain raced through his body making it tremble violently. kihyun stood up abruptly, walking towards the door and checking that they were alone for certain. his walk no longer careful, instead angry and determined. 

the knife he had kept at his belt at all times held steadily in his hand as he walked back to the centre of the room. 

'do it.' said a weak voice and kihyun was once again beaten off track. 'have mercy. do it.'

his heart clenched when he realised the boy was begging to be killed. kihyun's hand landed on his bloody chin and lifted his head up just enough for their eyes to meet. and they were cloudy eyes, tired, red and filled with tears. one fell as he blinked rapidly. kihyun slowly retracted his hand and the boy used what must have been the remaining of his strength to keep his head lifted up. kihyun picked up the knife and in a quick slash created a deep cut on his own hand, blood starting to drip down before it seemed to freeze and fly into the air instead, unnatural as the walls seemed to whisper strange things around them. the elf's eyes lit up in what would have been shock and confusion but he calmly watched as kihyun brought his hands closer to the wound on his cheek and it started to sting before the pain was gone. next were his arms and his stomach, the pain in his lungs numbing slowly. the mage's eyes were closed all throughout this procedure, heavy breathing as sweat started to form on his forehead. his eyebrows knotted suddenly and a trail of blood started dripping from his nose. dark red, this time going down naturally, not flying into the air and suddenly his hands dropped and everything quieted down. 

the elf was staring in confusion as the mage regained his composure, breathing for minutes, before his eyes opened again.

'blood magic...' the elf whispered more to himself than to kihyun. 'i never knew it could... do that.'

kihyun nodded, shaking the last few minutes' events off of himself as he got back up from his knees. 

'is there any more pain?'

'it's... almost gone.' the elf choked out, his head now moving with less difficulty to look up at his captor. 'but why?'

'just tell me when the attack will commence. numbers and tactics.' kihyun sighed 'whether the inquisitor will be there.'

the elf snorted disapprovingly. 'so you have healed me, only to torture me more. what a waste.'

'if you just say what you know, this will all end. it won't have to come to that.'

'get it over with because you will get nothing out of me,' the elf growled 'venatori scum.'

kihyun had no strength left to argue, but the anger he felt inside almost made him want to retaliate with violence. he turned around and walked straight towards the door, telling himself he's a fool and he needs to give up on this miserable soul.

'for a moment there-' the elf shouted 'i almost thought you were human.'

 

 

    **`V`.** 'din'an hanin.' changkyun said, full of awe 'no one has been here in ages, it seems.' 

the search party entered through a ruined stone door, carefully stepping through what remained of the walls of the old tomb. there were corpses outside. three, to be exact, burned and harmed almost beyond recognition. jooheon launched towards them, silent grief on his face as him and changkyun recongnised their brothers from the camp. taven's companions for the expedition. all volunteered to go, untrained and inexperienced. changkyun did not wish to think about their sad end. they will take them back to the keeper. there will be a funeral, and changkyun did not look forward to it.

the inside of the hall was well lit through the cracks and holes in the tomb's walls, the sun hot on the stones and their heavy armors. yet all was in ruin, statues crumbling and dust settled in every corner of the place.

'this is the final resting place of the emerald knights.' changkyun spoke up, their newly met companions listening in silence as they all walked forward. 'protectors of the dales. they led the battles against human forces during the second exalted march'

'and lost.' jooheon commented bitterly.

'this is a scared place to the dalish. i ask you not to disturb what remains of it.' 

'you have nothing to worry about, changkyun.' the inquisitor spoke up, maybe thinking it disrespectful that the young mage would lecture another dalish. but changkyun intended it more for the man's followers, than him.

his followers did indeed peek not only changkyun's interest, as jooheon seemed to watch them with wariness and distrust. the tevinter mage especially, dorian, his name was as changkyun gathered, but that might have just had its root in jooheon's distrust towards all mages. the dwarf that accompanied them seemed the friendliest of them all, trying to spark up conversation with the elves as they traveled towards their destination. while changkyun indulged him in talk when it was possible, listening curiously to his stories and asking about the inquisition, jooheon remained behind, walking on his own for most of the time. changkyun wondered if he was mad at him, with how they left things earlier. but he decided not to let it bother him until their quest was done.

as they turned the corner, another pile of corpses could be seen scattered around the floors. 

'venatori.' the inquisitor commented shortly, as his hand lingered on top of the bow strapped to his back. 

'how lovely.' dorian whispered.

the corpses were burned in places, ash patterns on the iron plates, limbs blue from frost on others.

'this seems like the work of magic.' changkyun commented 'they aren't fresh but it could have been taven.'

an uproar ensued down the stairs from where they were standing, all of their hands reaching for their weapons without a word, becoming ever so much more vigilant. the sounds coming closer with every second, changkyun's hand firm on his staff as he backed away from the front line and summoned all reserves of mana. 'be ready.' the inquisitor said and before they knew it, soldiers were making their way up the stairs, arrows firing past their heads as zealots rushed towards them. changkyun focused his magic on the marksmen that kept peaking their heads around the corner to shoot at them, only to disappear a second later. one of them froze in place, paralysed by changkyun's electricity spell, before an arrow from the inquisitor struck him right between the eyes. 

jooheon marched forward, cutting down the venatori as he got further and further from the rest of the party. upon noticing, changkyun launched towards him but there was not much he could do as a large behemoth swooped down right next to his friend, chunks of red lyrium falling off of it as its monstrous hands hit the ground where he was standing. jooheon avoided the strike but it sent him tumbling to the ground. changkyun could only yell out in sudden panic as things happened quicker than he was ever prepared for.

before he knew, the inquisitor threw what seemed to be a fury storm of ice stuck in a small bottle towards the monstrous thing, distracting it enough for the dwarf to land a few shots in it's head. blinded and confused enough to let the herald pass, the thing swung its arms around hitting the walls instead of the people attacking it. the inquisitor jumped forward and with a deep slash of a dagger injured its leg making it lose balance and back up.

'move!' inquisitor lavellan yelled at jooheon through the commotion, and sure enough the boy regained his stamina and swiftly ran away from where he was downed against the monster's feet. he managed to get behind the behemoth and started landing powerful slashes on its back, as the inquisitor backed away reaching for his bow again. changkyun was casting all the spells he could muster to weaken it further, while the rest of the party fought off the remaining assailants that were making their way up the stairs to get to them. 

'get back!' the inquisitor shouted out, as he got on his knee in an empty spot in front of the lyrium spitting monster. 'explosion!'

that seemed to convince jooheon enough to swiftly roll towards the man's side, as lavellan attached something shiny to his arrow and sent it flying straight at the behemoth's head. the arrow exploded in a thousand bright, orange and purple pieces, and lyrium chunks scattered everywhere as the enemy fell to its feet.

silence ensued, heavy breathing as they all got to their feet and looked around. 

'you saved my life.' jooheon spoke up, so humbled changkyun could not believe the change in his attitude. 'thank you.' he bowed before the inquisitor as the other elf nodded his head at him in understanding.

'he does that often.' dorian laughed 'you'll get used to it.'

 

the lower levels of the tomb were all grown over with leaves, everything looked untouched and ancient. it was hard to imagine elves like changkyun himself once built this all and stood where he did at that moment. he looked at the ground beneath his feet, wondering what stories it could tell and what names it remembered. changkyun was always quite studious, taking interest in elven history as there was not much else he could do all day as a child. studying magic and studying lore, the two things that were expected of him and always enforced. he did not deny them, his mind just always wondered what else the world outside their camps had to offer.

they walked into a wide room, covered with statues and structures standing taller than any of them. the party stopped and he saw jooheon lower himself, looking at something with a fierce expression.

taven's body lied in the middle of the room, four corpses of fallen venatori around him, scorched to death. his throat had a deep cut in it, dry blood soaked into his clothes. his body was pale and his eyes closed, yet his expression almost peaceful.

changkyun stood there in silence as his heart sunk even further at the loss of another friend. he knew what this meant however, losing taven like they all silently expected to but didn't dare to say out loud. it made _him_ become first to the keeper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, you know how in inquisition your party usually consists of three other companions and you only see varric and dorian here? well, let's just say someone else was there, but our sweet elves have been made not to remember ;)
> 
> any comments are welcome, and really do motivate me to write more. so leave your lovely thoughts, people! <3


	4. sculptor and clay

> _You have grieved as I have._  
>  _You, who made worlds out of nothing._  
>  _We are alike in sorrow, sculptor and clay,_  
>  _Comforting each other in our art_  
>  _—Trials 1:8_

 

 ` **VI**`. there were no birds that morning in skyhold. no crows sitting on the battlements where they usually would. all residents seemed to be avoiding the outside as well. no one running around, no chatter in the courtyard. one could almost think the place was entirely bereft of life.

except for the small group of soliders gathered on the high stone walls.

'the light shall lead them safely.' the sister spoke, her voice tired and almost creeky, so easily lost in the vast spaces above them.

'through the paths of this world, and into the next.'

shownu's soldiers stood in a half circle, facing towards the woman and the silken pouches of ashes lying before them - what was left of their brothers and sisters in arms- and the few amongst them that were filled with sand instead. wonho thought it was so cruel. those sands were where his friend had met his end, and now they are to replace his body as they all say their last farewells. as if it could ever be enough. tears streamed down his face no matter how hard he clenched his jaw and tried to stop them.

'for they who trust in the maker, fire is their water.'

 _fire is their water_. wonho tried to make sense of the words, find the meaning in them that's supposed to give him peace. it has worked before, hasn't it? the justifications and excuses he had found in the chant, the words that he chose to keep him sane. why did they feel so empty this time? 

'as the moth sees light and goes toward flame, they should see fire and go towards light.'

but minhyuk didn't even _believe_. would the maker accept him by his side? he was far from holy, and an elf after all. would he even want this? would he laugh at the idea that wonho's crying over a fistful of dirty sand?

'...and they will know no fear of death, for the maker shall be their beacon and their shield, their foundation and their sword.'

the sister tried to light the candles surrounding them, each for a fallen soldier, but the wind was merciless. silence fell as she struggled to keep the fire alive long enough for it to catch on. 

wonho almost scoffed at the irony of the situation.

the remaining soldiers started shifting awkwardly, a few coughs sounded out as they glanced at the chantry sister's pitiful struggles.

'allow me.' wonho said in a hushed tone, as he approached the old lady who looked entirely panicked. 

his hand lowered over every candle, before a small spark appeared and engulfed each wick. looking at the names written on the sacks, remembering each of the people that had fought at his side for months.

shownu sent him a grateful look as he walked back to his place, but his eyes were filled with pain too. wonho knew the man would rather be in his quarters and mourn silently than give his time to meaningless ceremonies. 

wonho had stopped listening to the prayers. he stood in his place as some of the soldiers approached the sister and gave their silent farewells. 

his head was empty, as the ashes were released over the walls of skyhold and flew away in thick puffs over the mountais only to fall on the snow and later be buried by it.

when all others made their leave, and it was only him left on the battlements he slowly walked up to the edge. 

the wind pullled at his hair and he squinted his eyes to see better. 

but there was nothing. nothing but mountains and snow, as far as the eye could see. sculpted into an endless void.

 

 

 ` **VII**`. 'you don't have the tattoos.'

'what?'

'the tattoos.' kihyun gestured to his face 'most elves here have them, don't they?'

the prisoner scoffed. 'is this a new tevinter method of torture?'

'talking?'

' _ignorance_.'

kihyun's eyes shot up.

'i was simply curious.' he replied.

silence fell upon them. 

'dalish elves have tattoos. you know, the freaks that live in the woods? i am not dalish, so i luckily avoided being forcefully stabbed with needles.' 

kihyun nodded slowly. 'i never knew that is how they made them.'

the elf watched him carefully. 

'why are you doing this?'

kihyun's eyebrows knotted as the two of them made eye contact and the prisoner realised his question was not clear enough.

'why are you sitting here, talking to me, when they obviously want you to beat me up, or kill me already?' he asked confidently 'playing good will not get me to talk, you might as well save your time for more useful things.' 

kihyun tried to find an answer but he himself didn't know. he truly was there to beat him. to torture him. to his superiors' knowledge that was what he had been doing the previous days. but he could not go through with it, he could find no reason in his heart to do the venatori's bidding anymore. he despised all they ever made him do. 

'you know you are the bad guys here?' the elf teased bitterly and when kihyun stayed silent, his expression changed.

' _you do_.' 

their eyes met again but kihyun didn't know what to say.

'now that's funny.' 

neither of them was laughing.

'why are you with them then?'

kihyun took a deep breath. the elf didn't look at him in the same malicious and hateful way as he did before. he just looked curious. almost amused. they were there all alone. just the two of them and the empty stone walls of the cave.

'my friend...' kihyun answered in a broken voice, before clearing his throat and trying to sound more coherent. 'i can't leave. these people, they are ruthless and cold. they would take no pity, even on one of their own.' 

the elf turned his head and stared at him. 

'no.' 

kihyun was confused.

'no...?' he repeated slowly, trying to understand which part of what he said could prompt that response. 

'you are just a coward.' the elf stated with determination in his voice. 

kihyun stared him down but it did not stop him.

'too coward to leave and too coward to kill me. there's always a choice to make.' 

kihyun knew the choices he had. staying or leaving. he knew both meant losing something in return. himself, or hyungwon.

the elf was sat there on the cold ground, hands tied tightly behind his back, greasy white curls falling onto his eyes and all he could do was shake his head from time to time to stop the tingling. but his voice was always clear and loud, unshaken. as if he had long made peace with his current situation and did not care for escape.

'do the choices you have made satisfy you?' the mage asked with a cold expression, as he approached the chained man and stared down at him. 'the choices that led you here, to a life in a prison cell with all your fellow soldiers _rotting_ in the sands?'

the elf's face twitched, teeth gritted as the hostile aura radiating from him returned.

'i would have died for every man that was with me that day. and i will die for every man left at skyhold.' he smiled, and kihyun found it all the more unnerving.

'and you will die at that keep, with no one there to care.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another shorter chapter to set up for what's to come. i have the next few planned out already and im so excited for stuff to finally go down!!! 
> 
> next chapter will be a small look into kihyun and hyungwon's dynamics and more on jooheon and changkyun! 
> 
> thank you for reading ♡ comments are really appreciated, as always. share your thoughts and predictions if you have any hehe


	5. the lonely one

> _They will taunt you and humiliate you_  
>  _While they hang you in the marketplace._  
>  _They will pelt you with offal while they call you_  
>  _Broken, a coward, and a failure._  
>  _—Shartan 9:6_

 

  ` **VIII**`. the ones left gathered around their bodies, and he could truly see how few of them remained. the keeper spoke but he did not listen, he did not care for tears nor sorrow. they said their last goodbyes the moment they left the camp. and yet.

jooheon walked down the river's bank, head tangled with thoughts but determined. changkyun's tent came in sight and he took his time before walking in.

the mage was sat by his small wooden desk, surrounded by piles of books and parchments. jooheon watched him for a moment and the boy was so still, it seemed like he was asleep right there in his chair. changkyun swiped his hair back and sighed deeply after a moment, and jooheon cleared his throat to announce his presence.

the boy jumped in his seat, turning around to face his visitor.

'i didn't notice you there.'

'do you have time... to talk?'

changkyun stood up and came closer to the other elf, nodding his head to indulge in his request.

they sat down on the boy's makeshift bed, the cloth walls of the tent caving in right above their heads. changkyun watched him in silence, waiting for the boy to speak and it almost felt like he wouldn't.

'i am going to leave.'

changkyun tilted his head slightly, trying to understand what his friend meant. 'leave where?'

'i want to join the inquisition.'

the mage was taken aback. at first he did not take it seriously, but when he looked into jooheon's eyes and saw that flame of determination he knew so well, he realised it was no joke. 

jooheon didn't let him reply.

'look around us.' he said in a whisper 'all that's left is a band of pitiful elves, stuck in the past, waiting for death and nothing else. there is no goal here. and keeper hawen doesn't care enough to see the outside world.'

'he does care-' changkyun tried to argue.

jooheon shook his head. 'he tries to preserve something that is no longer here.'

changkyun swallowed down the lump in his throat only for it to form again. it almost felt like a dream, with how tired he was and all the shadows playing tricks on jooheon's face. such a pretty face, short orange hair exposing his forehead and eyes, dark and small but so fierce.

'i'm first to the keeper now, jooheon.' changkyun said, with no joy in his voice. jooheon licked his lips nervously, eyebrows furrowed. his fingernails were digging into the side of his hand.

'and what does that mean to you?'

changkyun didn't understand the question. it meant, he was supposed to be keeper in the future. that's all he could think of, as far as he knew, he would still do the very same things now as he did before. sleep, eat, study, talk, and sleep again. taven was the one trained to be the keeper's first, while changkyun was not even supposed to be among the clan when it happened.

changkyun looked away as he tried to gather his thoughts and slowly understand what it is jooheon wanted from him. he came there in the middle of the night, his armor as perfect and polished as ever, and he was sat there patiently, waiting for something. as if changkyun's opinion was the deciding one, when he knew damn well it wasn't. jooheon would do what jooheon wanted to do.

the boy's hand gently squeezed changkyun's where it rested on his own leg. that got him to look into jooheon's eyes again.

'they are trying to fix the world.'

'i know that.' changkyun sighed. 'i just never knew you cared about the world being fixed.'

jooheon chuckled. 'me neither. but i think i do.'

that almost got changkyun to smile. _he thinks_. yet he was so cheerful when he said it, just for a moment there, a spark lit up in jooheon again, one his friend had not seen for what felt like forever. yet it wasn't that simple.

'you might never be allowed back in the camp if you do this.' changkyun shook his head 'there might not even be a camp when you come back.'

jooheon shrugged. it rubbed changkyun the wrong way but he tried not to show it.

'i-' changkyun took a deep breath and bit his lip, tears starting to form in his eyes 'i would miss you.'

jooheon looked at him with disbelief. licked his lips before scoffing quietly.

'for all the clever books you read, you really are daft.'

'what-' changkyun tried to protest as his hand was squeezed harder and jooheon's eyes were staring right into his.

'i am asking you to come with me.'

 

  ` **IX**`. his visitor looked different that time. he came into the cell late at night, carrying things in his hands that couldn't be seen properly by one's half awake mind. quiet and shaken, and the aura around him had changed drastically since his last visit. it had been a few days, but no one would be able to tell for certain. time didn't really exist in those dungeons. he knew a soldier had brought him food, maybe two nights ago? he could feel his hunger come back with a vengeance so it must have been a while.

neither of them spoke, the mage standing in the corner, shadows swallowing his silhouette whole. when he walked over it was slow and uncertain, just like the first time he was left to interrogate him. 

the elf waited, his eyes following the shadow as it approached him to stare down at him.

'i thought about what you said.' 

that peaked his curiousity and he looked up to see his captor's eyes clouded by a dark hood over his head. 

he could see clearer now that the mage was carrying a bag, filled to the brim, and his staff was held tightly in his palm.

'this will be your only chance. if you fail to do as i say, i will not hestitate to kill you.' 

the man stared down at him, as if he was waiting for an answer but when it never came he swallowed visibly and nodded to himself, carrying on with his plan.

the elf's hands fell to the ground, surprised by their newfound freedom, and the feeling of wet cold groud beneath them was enough to make all his senses awaken anew. it felt strange, being able to move them again, almost as if they weren't his. 

'you're letting me go?' the elf could not help himself, even though his mind told him he should not question. just run. 'why?'

the mage breathed in heavily, overwhelming doubt so clear to read from the way his body moved. 

he shook his head. 'this... is an escape.' the mage stated. 'you're going to lead me to where you came from.'

skyhold. _home_.

 

 

the composite bow he had been given was made of dark wood, the string was adjusted badly and his weakened arms struggled to pull it back enough, but it had to make do. 

he was right, the place was swallowed by darkness and it must have been the peak of night. only the everpresent wind and distant howling could be heard, bouncing off the walls of the caves as it echoed. they moved silently. 

but the camp couldn't have been deserted, he knew. the mage stopped in his tracks as they saw a shadow walk past the entrance, barely visible with the night sky behind it. the elf looked back at his newfound companion, trying to figure out what the fool's plan would be now. 

the archer would have said to just kill them. but how could know if it wouldn't make his captor kill him in return?

'we have to try to sneak past.' he heard a whisper.

'and if we fail to?' 

the mage looked at him for a second as his eyes wandered looking for an answer. 

'then we take him out. silently.' he finally answered. 

and that was what it came to. as they neared the wide gap in the rocks and the elf could truly feel the power of the winds as they swiped his long hair back and made his skin tingle, the shadow stopped and the man behind it looked at them in confusion. his eyes landed on the prisoner before they shot wide and his mouth opened only to close again, before spurts of blood came out of it, the elf's new dagger slicing swiftly across his throat. 

the mage started breathing heavily at the sight, panic only now truly settling in inside his head and spreading through his whole body. 

'he would have sounded the alarm.' his companion whispered, wiping the dagger on his ragged clothes mindlessly. 

like shadows they made their way past the first row of tents and makeshift wooden structures, then the next ones, slowly and vigilantly. 

the mage led the way, both in complete silence, communicating only with their eyes. 

the elf heard a crack behind their backs as they neared the outskirts of the camp, and his hand shot up to draw an arrow. 

the other man turned around to see him with the bow fully drawn, an arrow ready to release and all he could do is yell out 'don't!' 

the boy froze in his place as he eyed the man in front of him and then the one giving him orders with hostility and hesitation. 

'kihyun.' hyungwon was in his night gown, empty handed and stood in place as his robe flopped around him and hugged his tall body tightly against the wind.

'you're betraying me.' he stated, not angrily, more like he was coming to terms with what his eyes were seeing. 

the elf's arrow was pointed straight at the man's head as his hands started to shake slightly from the strain. the stranger ignored him completely, eyes focused on the other escapee.

'you can still come with me.' kihyun choked out desperately.

'you're leaving me.' the man ignored his words completely, same monotony in his voice and his eyes were so sad. he looked like a child, or a ghost, stranded in the desert in the middle of a harsh cold lonely night. 

'hyungwonah, please...'

the elf started lowering his bow, taking slow steps back towards freedom. hyungwon eyed him for a second before focusing his attention on kihyun again. 

'i knew you weren't torturing him.' he chuckled bitterly. 'i just let you. i didn't believe you when you proposed this either, i...' he stopped midsentence to shake his head with disgust. 

'you're not like them.' kihyun replied, his bottom lip starting to tremble. ' _we're_ not like them.'

'go.' hyungwon commanded coldly, after a long silence of painful glares. 'i don't want to see you again.' he turned around abruptly and slowly walked back towards the tents, sand coming up in puffs when his feet lifted off the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yes i know there has been a SEVERE lack of hyungwon in these chapters so far, but that's only because kihyun's story needs to progress further before we can see it from hyungwon's side. and that's happening (from what i have planned so far) within the next two chapters. i preferred to keep most of what had happened between hyungwon and kihyun before he had made his decision hidden to focus more on one character. it's hard for me to write a whole long ass chapter from just one person's perspective while keeping it interesting but that's what im planning to do with hyungwon so stay tuned! 
> 
> anyway, if you're reading this, just know that i really appreciate you!


	6. those who come to serve

 

> _I remembered for them._  
>  _They will see what can be gained,_  
>  _And though we are few against the wind, we are Yours._  
>  _—Trials 5:1_

 

   ` **X**`. emprise du lion. covered in snow, cold and hostile. just how jooheon had imagined orlesians were. he had met some before, but they all had funny accents, a superiority complex and dropped dead as easily as flies. 

but there was something more, something really wrong with that area, though he could not quite explain what. the red crystals, that were growing out from the rocks and spotting the mountains and even the middle of empty fields. as if a disease had swept upon the land, but no one seemed to do anything about it. they had stayed away from it -  _red lyrium,_ as changkyun explained to him, but even the boy didn't know exactly what it was. jooheon knew better than to touch it. the sounds it made as they walked past, the way the air glew around it kept him vigilant and rightfully afraid of coming anywhere near them. 

somehow though, it made a beautiful sight. imagining the land without it made it seem just bland. it was already lifeless enough. 

had it not been for the fires they warmed up around every few hours, jooheon was sure his limbs would fall off and they'd die there, frozen to death in the heaps of snow. 

'the things i would do for a bath.' changkyun hummed.

'can't you conjure up some water or something?' jooheon asked, unintentionally bitterly.

'water? hot water? no. but how about ice? i can _conjure up_ some ice.'

'think we already have plenty of that.' 

'right.' changkyun smiled 'let me just melt it then. i can take a bath right here in this field as i pour melted ice all over myself.'

jooheon smirked. 'scandalous.' 

the conversation died as quickly as it began, and they returned to repeatedly lifting their feet high to sink them right back in the snow that covered them up to their knees. 

after what seemed like ages, they came across a ruined stone road. and roads led to places, right? usually inhabited ones, but gods knew whether there was still any living soul out in that wasteland.

if there was, jooheon pitied them. he could not ever understand why anyone would choose to live their life in a freezing cold shithole. 

'you see that?' changkyun's voice brought him out of his quiet pondering. 

he looked up to where the boy's hand was pointing and squinted his eyes to scout for whatever it was he was supposed to see. and sure enough, a structure unlike the ones they've seen in the area before came into sight. a building, not too tall, clearly contstructed by human hands and not elven, like all the ruins they've come across so far. 

they looked at each other and with silent nods agreed to go towards it, speeding up their pace as the sky grew darker with each second. the prospect of sleeping under a roof excited jooheon more than he'd ever thought it would. 

a child, maybe no older than ten, was the first living creature they had encountered in days. the girl slowed her pace as she saw them approach and when they came close enough stopped entirely in her tracks to look at them with curiousity and uncertainty painted on her face. 

'um, hello there.' changkyun cleared his throat awkwardly adressing the child and as soon as he did, the girl turned swiftly on her feet and ran speedily towards the village they were now in front of. 

'it's the ears, i'm telling you.' 

'shut up about my ears.' changkyun dismissed him, as his hand instinctively went up to rub at the pointy end of his ear, as if it would make them become less noticable. 

'this was elven territory once.' changkyun hesitated 'surely they've seen elves before. we're just... strangers.' 

changkyun nodded firmly to himself.

'they must be distrustful of strangers.'

jooheon shrugged, deciding not to ruin the boy's hopes with arguing. 

'only one way to find out.' he said and marched forward with determination.

 

it turned out, changkyun is much better at talking and _manners_ , as he said, than jooheon. apparently he loses his temper too easily. maybe it wouldn't be a problem if shems weren't so goddamn hard to communicate with. getting a simple answer out of the people there seemed like an impossible task. 

nevertheless, there he was, standing in the middle of a deserted town square, as changkyun had headed inside to negotiate shelter and information. 

they didn't have a coin to their name, and the supplies they had brought had all but run dry. this truly was a salvation of sorts, jooheon only wished it was a slightly more impressive one.

that place could barely be called a village. a few poor houses, all packed to the brim it seemed, and a larger building that they've found out served as the mayor's house. hopefully the person there could give into changkyun's charms and they could enjoy a warm night before their journey inevitably continued.

'i know you.' 

jooheon's heart skipped a beat and he immediately turned around to face whoever it was that had somehow made his way towards him unnoticed. 

there was nothing and no one to his left where he thought he heard the voice, and that unnerved him quite a bit.

'over here.' the man's voice called out and jooheon looked back at where he had been staring before to see a silhouette of a boy, pale as the snow with blonde hair so long it covered his eyes whole. he wore a hat, a huge one, and jooheon's mind didn't understand how he could have missed someone like that walking past.

'i know you.' the boy repeated, and his voice sounded cheerful, but the way he said every word made jooheon shiver more than from the cold. 

jooheon furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head. 'no. i've never met you.'

the boy lifted his chin and looked at him, or rather, somewhere past him, but jooheon could see clearer now - his bright eyes and pink cheeks on a pale skinny face. 

'we've met. you just don't remember.' he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world 'it's alright. it was my choice, not yours. but you have also made a choice.

it is a really good choice.' 

jooheon was positively creeped out at that point, and took a small step back as he tried to see past the stranger and through the window where changkyun was. 

but the boy kept talking.

'there's a lot of good people in the inquisition. you will not be cast out. you will find your place. there are others just like you. you will find your purpose.'

jooheon was left speechless, staring at this creature and listening to his words, and he wondered if that boy was sick, with the way he looked, or crazy, with the way he talked.

the boy turned his head slightly. 'i'm glad i could help.' 

'how do you... hey, how do you know where i'm going?' 

 _where i'm going? going_... gone. 

jooheon looked down at his hands and they seemed to be shaking slightly. 

did he just yell? his throat felt sore as if he had just yelled and his mind felt clouded. he looked up and he could see changkyun through the window of the dimly lit house. 

after a few more minutes the boy came outside, a figure of a woman standing in the doorway behind him. 

he smiled timidly and waved his hand at jooheon.

 _of course he would succeed_.

 

 

   ` **XI**`. there weren't many sunny, warm days at skyhold. warm, meaning pleasant enough to stand in the courtyard the entire morning and only hide your hands in your pockets from time to time when the wind made its way past the fortress walls. 

and wonho had, like it or not, been standing in a secluded area of skyhold ever since he woke up to the first rays of light coming through his window. 

'you need to balance your mind _and_ your posture.' wonho sighed as he governed over the gathered apprentices, most of them proving to be a test of his strong will. 

with the rebellion and fall of all circles, including his, these children had no other prospects of training than under the watchful eye of the inquisition and its soldiers. 

wonho knew it was not a good idea as soon as it was offered to him. but he could not deny it, he was only left to obey. and although a gruesome task, he knew it was necessary. he only wished he could do _better_. they had enough magic-caused accidents around skyhold already. enough whispers from commoners and soldiers as he walked past them, staff in hand.

he supposed it was worse for other mages. those weaker, those easier to pick on, those with a rank and experience not as high as his. 

the inquisitor sure was brave when he took on a fleet of rebel mages and let them into his walls. but he was grateful. was the herald a different man, wonho might as well had been dead, or still on the run.

'see the flame with your mind before it appears in front of you.' wonho raised his voice as he saw the apprentice struggle to the point sweat was dripping down his forehead. 

he tried to recall his own schooling, but he didn't remember ever struggling this much. magic was natural to him. he willed things into existance, twisted them, shaped them into whatever his mind desired and released them from deep within him. it was a process that was as much a piece of him as any part of his physical body. so how could he explain it to someone who's magic was different, and either stayed locked inside or came out in uncontrolled bursts?

'reserve your mana!' he let out a chain of curses under his nose as he ran towards the other side of the group, bringing out his hand to put out the wooden training dummy that had just engulfed entirely in flames. 

'maker's breath, you're going to set the whole of skyhold on fire if you don't control the intensity of your spells.'

the girl looked bewildered and only whispered a small 'i'm sorry, sir.' at him, as wonho went to rub at his face in an attempt to calm himself down.

the people of thedas thought what happened in kirkwall was the true start of the mage rebellion, an act of aggresion against the chantry that ended up being the last straw. but wonho knew better. 

he was part of what truly cemented all mages' fate, the final vote for the disbanding of circles of magi. secession was achieved because he, and other mages decided to take their freedom. leaving all the others that were against the notion, the loyalists, to come to terms with their new future, or fight against it. 

'they really do seem utterly hopeless. don't they, my dear?'

and there, the very leader of those mages stood on the steps above him, watching the pitiful sight unfold.

'not at all, madame de fer.' wonho bowed politely as blood rushed into his head. 'i still have faith in them.' 

all the apprentices seized their training by then, watching the confrontation between the first enchanter and wonho while occasionally whispering to each other. 

'faith is good for many things.' vivienne replied, her tone as elegant as always 'not quite for fighting rebel mages however, as we have recently found out. for that, skill and proper training is needed.'

'that is why we are here, ma'am.' wonho tried to keep his cool. the way the first enchanter carried herself both impressed and annoyed him greatly. but whether he liked it or not, her person undoubtedly gained deep respect from any mage that came across her, even him, despite their opposing beliefs. respect, fear, one or the other. it was truly a wonder to watch her play with people as if they were all part of some game. 

'forgive me, my dear, but you lack the proper techniques to teach those who cannot control their own powers. first enchanters are the few people who can be trusted with such a task.' she spoke as if wonho was nothing compared to her 'and not the rebel ones either, that is.'

wonho gritted his teeth to stop himself from losing his temper. he wondered where all the other loyalist first enchanters were then, as he would gladly have them train the mages in his stead. 

'the inquisitor and grand enchanter fiona had both trusted me enough to assign this task to me. i will see that it is completed, with my best-'

'serah!' a soldier, completely out of breath, had run up to him and loudly demanded his attention. 

wonho could not have been more grateful to the man for his timing. it seemed to peek the curiousity of all gathered, as first enchanter vivienne didn't try to continue their small bitter exchange.

'you are needed immediately, serah. by the main gate. commander's orders, serah.' the man only then seemed to notice the elegant figure of the first enchanter watching him from above and immediatety stuttered as he bowed politely in her direction. 'madame-'

'go ahead, my dear.' she turned her attention back to wonho 'i will make sure your students are not left without proper supervision.'

wonho thought it useless to argue, so he only bowed at her slightly and followed the soldier in quick steps through the courtyard. 

the sun was ever so present there, coming out of the shadow where they were training, and he took a moment to revel in the way it fell onto his face and skin. 

as they approached the main gate, through the crowd that was always gathered there in the midst of the day; soldiers, merchants, common folk, all taking refuge in the fortress, wonho saw commander cullen's set of armor appear in his line of sight. 

a small group of people seemed to gather behind him as well, some he recognised as the scouts from shownu's unit.

someone needing healing? a message? he prayed to the maker for it not to be any more bad news.

he approached the group, following the hurrying soldier and looked at the people gathered trying to understand what was going on.

'commander?' he nodded his head at cullen, but the man didn't really say anything, only looked at him with an expression wonho couldn't quite read.

the commander opened his mouth as if to speak only to close it again and simply step to the side. 

it took wonho a while to take in what was in front of him but then he spotted it. 

no one paid attention to him, he stood there and squinted his eyes but he could see it clearly, he could see the bright white locks stand out of the crowd as they ever did. 

when the soldier who was covering him stepped away only then did he see his full silhouette. 

ragged, dirty, blood covered clothing, his face doned with dirt and his body so much skinnier than it was before, but it was undoubtedly him. his smile, although on a face that was tired, was one unlike anyone else's. 

and then _he_ noticed wonho too. and before the mage could even take a step forward, he marched straight at him. 

wonho waited to awaken from that dream he was surely in, back to painful reality but then he felt the very real weight of a man's body thrown over his arms and his own hands came to rest at the man's back. 

he grabbed at the shirt and felt the rough material of it, then let his hand go up to the man's head, feeling his hair fall through his fingers, trying to tilt his own head to take another look.

'how...?' he managed to choke out, not really knowing if that was the whole question or only the start of one. 

'i've come back home.' minhyuk whispered into his neck, breath hot as he burrowed his head deep in wonho's chest for just a moment more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whaaaaat a new chapter already?? yeah im surprised too. i just finally finished this while taking a 2 hour long bath. it was worth it. 
> 
> i love writing this story so much. 
> 
> all comments are appreciates as always, and i love u a lot if u even take the time out of your day to read this crap. 
> 
> bonus: just imagine cullen awkwardly standing right by wonho's side as the two of them embrace each other as if the world had stopped CAN YOU SEE IT
> 
> (subscribe for emails about updates btw, or bookmark the work! most because i'm just very curious how many people actually tune in to still read this :< )


	7. them over me

> _Into My house you walk uninvited, demanding rewards_  
>  _You have not earned._  
>  _The darkness planted by your betrayers in your hearts I see._  
>  _Did you not know, when you chose to revere them over Me?_  
>  _—Silence 3:5_

 

` **XII**`.wonho welcomed him at the gate, as he had many times before, but there was something different painted on his face this time. too many emotions.

and then they just stood there as shownu tried to understand the words being spoken at him. 

he headed straight for his quarters, his soldiers staring at him wide eyed as he burst through the door of the tower. 

he left his longsword at the bottom of the stairs, not bothering to pick it up when it slipped and hit the ground with a loud rumble. 

two steps at a time he climbed up the tower stairwell, as his hands clumsily took off the top of his chainmail, slowly freeing him from the heavy metal restricting his chest. the armor thrown down the stairs, without a care in the world. it helped to breathe easier, or pant, with the way he was hurrying up without stopping. 

until he stopped right outside the door to his quarters. there was sweat dripping down his forehead, and his heart was beating faster than it should. it was irrational. but his mind was in a state of frenzy.

shownu took a deep breath as his hand swiped his hair back, before pushing the door open. 

it was a humble room at the top of the tower, consisting of nothing more than a bed, piles of his belongings and a small space to serve as a bathroom. 

his eyes landed on the bathtub as the water in it splashed loudly and a silhouette slowly rose up from behind the marble. 

shownu just stared, completely frozen. minhyuk rubbed at his eyes to clear them, his hair slicked back as water dripped off of it in thick streams to fall onto his chest and shoulders. 

until he opened his eyes, blinking a few times as they landed on shownu. standing in the middle of the room, the door slowly creaking shut behind him. 

it felt like ages that he just stood there, his body feeling like it was being pushed into the ground, too heavy to stand up straight until his mouth twitched and he finally remembered his manners. 

'a-' he stuttered uncontrollably 'i- i. i didnt mean to intrude.' his eyes drifted awkwardly away from minhyuk's silhouette in the bathtub as he tried to decide whether he should leave. his eyes filled with tears, and he didn't want to cry but he simply could not stop it.

'it's alright.' the boy answered calmly. 

'i will come back when you are done.' shownu offered as he turned to his side and scanned the wall in panic, blinking rapidly to let his eyeballs dry. 'i'll... i'll just wait outside. when you-'

'shownu.' minhyuk interrupted him but shownu just stood there motionless as if he was a statue.

' _commander_.' he said more firmly. 'look at me.' 

shownu hesitated before turning his head. minhyuk's arms were leaning on the walls of the bathtub, his lower body still submerged in water. rays of sunlight came through the window and landed on his arms, that were still slightly dirty. he ran a hand through his hair, making one of his wet curls fall heavily onto his forehead. 

they stared at each other for a moment, minhyuk's face softening up before his eyebrows knotted and he gritted his teeth, as if a wave of pain had washed over him.

shownu didn't know what to say to him. there were no words he could think of that described the utter disbelief, relief, pain and regret he felt when looking upon minhyuk's face again. after he had thought he would never see him, never speak to him, never fight or sleep along his side. there were new scars and bruises decorating minhyuk's face and arms and shownu could not help but stare at them and boil with anger. 

minhyuk's back straightened up before he pushed his body up and went to stand up in the bathtub. shownu awkwardly tried to look away, muttering a 'what are you doing?' as minhyuk stepped out of the bathtub and he could see out of the corner of his eyes as the boy made his way towards him. 

'look at me, commander.' minhyuk demanded again and shownu took a step back. 

his head tilted to the side and eyes stuck on one point at the wall. 'this is entirely inappropriate, minhyuk.' he said, sounding softer than he intended 'clothes, please.'

'i missed you.' minhyuk whispered and shownu looked back down at the boy.

yes, he was definitely naked and dripping water all over his wooden floors. but shownu looked right into the elf's eyes, trying hard not to move his own an inch, and tried to pretend as if the situation was normal.

 _i missed you too_. shownu's mind yelled at him but he just stood there staring at minhyuk as he saw tears slowly drip down his face.

he swallowed the lump in his throat and abruptly turned around to throw himself at the pile of clothing in the chest behind him. he took out the first piece of cloth he could get his hands at and quickly returned to minhyuk, who stood there in the middle of the room, naked, shivering and violently sobbing.

shownu wrapped the shirt around minhyuk's waist. the boy looked up at him for a moment and shownu could not help but pull his body close to his, hold his head tightly against his chest and slowly place kisses at the top of his wet hair as minhyuk's tears and the bath water turned his own clothes wet. 

 

 

minhyuk looked as if he was drowning in shownu's clothes, but neither of them cared enough to find out where minhyuk's belongings were at that moment. 

they sat on shownu's bed as minhyuk explained to him his survival, and everything he went through to get back home. 

and shownu was angry, he was so angry but he tried not to show it. there was a pain deep in his heart, a feeling as if he had failed minhyuk in so many more ways than he had thought. his eyes still couldn't believe he was sitting there, grey shirt slipping off his shoulders, messy hair falling down onto his forehead, legs crossed and eyes red from the tears that just wouldn't stop falling. _he was so strong_. throughout it all he was so strong, so loyal, and he came back home. 

a long silence fell upon them. shownu looked down at minhyuk as he absent-mindededly played with his fingers. he wondered what he could say. he was never a man of many words, but in that moment, when he needed them most, he felt like he had forgotten them all.

'we buried you.' 

minhyuk looked up with a confused expression.

'sand. we buried sand. ashes of those whose bodies were found and sand for the others.' shownu was holding his breath up until then, his lungs and brain forgetting how to function in harmony 'i really thought i'd never see you again. i thought that was all that was left of you.' 

he felt his throat clench, not letting him continue. minhyuk looked at him with those big grey eyes, full of pity even though shownu was in no position to be pitied. the elf's hand swiftly moved over to shownu's thigh and his thumb started tracing slow circles through the material of his pants. the man probably didn't realise just how much comfort that small gesture brought him. 

the usually talkative minhyuk often quieted down when it was just the two of them. almost as if they didn't need words to communicate. shownu wondered if this time too, he could sense what he was feeling inside. 

'i'm here now.' minhyuk whispered after a while, not looking up at the man next to him. shownu nodded slowly, as if only then realising that it was indeed the truth. he was there. nothing else mattered in that moment. there will be time for vengeance and justice, for minhyuk and all his fallen soldiers. he decided to put his anger away until then.

minhyuk shifted around on the bed, lowering his head slowly to rest at shownu's lap. shownu allowed him to get comfortable, as his hand started petting minhyuk's hair delicately, brushing out the strands with his fingers while at it. minhyuk's hands too comforted shownu again in the smallest way, lazily rubbing at his leg, until his movement slowed down to stop entirely. his eyes were closed and his breathing was steady and shownu sat there for a long time, with minhyuk gently snoring on his lap, not wanting to wake the boy up or for that moment to ever end. 

 

 

` **XIII**`.the north-western tower was filled with mages, quite literally, to the brim. although they did not all have their quarters there, they seemed to spend their days mostly inside studying or passing time with other fellow mages. 

kihyun was led, or rather escorted to the tower by two inquisition soldiers, and they did not seem all that friendly towards his person. news must have travelled quickly in skyhold, because by the next day kihyun could already sense all the hostile looks and quieted whispers from the people surrounding him. 

he was given a fresh change of clothes, a place to sleep and food delievered to him. where most would go to the kitchens when it was time for supper, he was not allowed to leave the tower until it was decided otherwise. as far as he knew, that time might never have come. he was esentially a prisoner there, although he could not compare his own experience to that of which minhyuk went through. the inquisition's hospitality was admirable, even though he realised he was an intruder in their walls. 

the top floor of the tower had a ladder that led to the roof from which he would watch the life of skyhold's residents until his body shivered too much to stay out there. it was so much smaller from up there than it seemed as they were approaching its gates. but the view at the empty mountain sides around it was clear, and an enemy's oncoming attack would be spotted long before they made it to the front gates. 

the inquisition did get lucky stealing the rebel mages from under the elder one's grasp. kihyun could not imagine the power the venatori would hold with this much magic at their side. maybe then they would have won, maybe he wouldn't be standing there in that fancy freezing prison. maybe he would still have hyungwon by his side. maybe he wouldn't have betrayed him. and maybe he wouldn't dream about him every night since the escape.

no matter how hard he tried to justify his choice, he could not forgive himself. thinking of hyungwon was slowly killing him to the point each night he wanted to plan his own escape, and run back to the camp to beg for their forgiveness. 

 'and there's the man himself.' 

kihyun turned around to realise there was a stranger who had found himself on top of the tower with him and no one else.

'when i had heard about a tevinter mage riding in to skyhold to help the dreaded inquisiton, i just had to see it for myself.' the man was tan, and dressed in such fancy clothing kihyun knew he had to be from tevinter as well. perhaps his accent is what gave it away too. 

he walked towards kihyun only to lean against the wall as he had just a few seconds ago. kihyun relaxed a bit, seeing he was not there to kill him or beat him up for who he was.

'see, i had thought you and i would have a lot in common. tevinter pariahs betraying their homeland and whatnot.' the stranger kept on talking 'i hear you are venatori, however. is that correct?'

'yes.' kihyun answered cautiously 'i used to be...'

'and that's what makes me believe we are not so alike after all...' he was interrupted immediately, as if the man already knew what his answer was going to be before he asked the question 'as you have to be either completely crazy or utterly evil, to ever be a part of that. both, most likely. so which is it, in your case? crazy or evil?'

'neither, i'd like to think.' kihyun answered truthfully 'i was never given any choice...' the sound of the ladder shaking slightly by the entrance made him shift his attention from the man he was talking to. 

' _there is always a choice._ ' kihyun heard him say and his mind immediately remembered the conversation he had with the elf as he lied tied up and beat up in front of him.

'there you are.' a woman in a very formal gold dress has stepped onto the roof, a few feet away from where they stood. 

'oh and, dorian. you are here as well.' her accent was thick but somehow so lovely to listen to. 

'is it time already?' dorian asked as he stepped away from the wall 'what a shame.' 

'i am the inquisition's ambassador, lady josephine montilyet.' the woman announced as she looked at kihyun with an apologetic smile 'if you would please follow me to the throne room, my lord. the inqusitor is ready to talk to you.'

 

 

'lord inquisitor.' the ambassador approached the back of the impressive throne room hall. the inqusitor was sat in the wooden throne so small compared to that majestic chair. kihyun did not know the man was an elf. in truth, he knew very little about what kind of a man he truly was.

'this is yoo kihyun, a venatori mage recently come into skyhold surrendering himself to our soldiers and returning one of our agents, believed to have died at the western approach.' lady josephine introduced him, as two soldiers escorted him to stand in front of the throne, looking up at the inquisitor as he and the people gathered around looked down at kihyun. 

'i am familiar with this matter, thank you lady josephine.' the inquisitor replied calmly, focusing his attention on kihyun.

'you stand accused of working with the venatori against the inquisition and the murder of twelve of the inquisition's agents.' the man announced for the whole room to hear, and kihyun heard the whispers arise around him until the inquisitor's voice quieted them out again. 'those are serious charges. what do you say in your defense?'

kihyun swallowed the lump in his throat with great difficulty. he did not expect a trial of this kind. and he had felt so small in that moment, feeling all of their judging glares burn into his skin. he took a deep breath, hands shaking nervously as he answered loud enough or everyone to hear him.

'it is true that i have been one of the venatori mages stationed in the western approach for the last few months.' he cleared his throat, hoping it would make him sound more confident. 'when the camp was attacked, i fought against the attackers, killing your soldiers in the process.' the whispers could be heard again at his words, and kihyun felt a shudder go through his body. when he fought those people, it was like a sport. now he stood there, surrounded by those who knew them, maybe loved them, and he was guilty. he knew he was guilty.

the inquisitor nodded once, but his expression was still cold and serious. 'you have also captured and tortured the only surviving agent.'

'he didn't touch me.' kihyun almost jumped as he heard the voice on his left interrupt the inquisitor so suddenly.

'your worship...' minhyuk corrected himself as everyone's eyes went to rest on him. 'he did not hurt me. the other venatori beat and tortured me, but when they were gone, he healed my wounds.' minhyuk spoke quickly and bravely, looking straight at the inquisitor. 'he freed me and helped me come back to skyhold. had it not been for him, i know i would have been executed in the following days, for not giving them any information.'

silence fell upon the room as everyone waited for someone to speak again. the ambassador looked quite troubled at the interruption, sending the inquisitor a worried look.

'so you vouch for this man?' inquisitor lavellan finally spoke up, asking minhyuk directly.

'yes, your worship.'

'thank you for your honesty and loyalty.' he smiled at minhyuk and the boy slowly stepped back into the line. 'i will have lady josephine see to it, that any of your needs are met with immediately.' kihyun noticed a qunari man beside minhyuk place his hand on his shoulder and smile at him. 

the inquisitor looked back to him. 'the question remains however, where  _your_ loyalty lies? is it still with corypheus?'

'i was never loyal to him, my lord.' kihyun straightened up, his eyebrows furrowed. he knew this was his only chance to be convincing. 'i joined the venatori because i had no other choice... finally i have a chance to make my own choice, and repent for all the bad things i have been a part of.'

'if i may, my dear lord inquisitor.' he heard the man he had previously spoken to interrupt the judgment once again. 'the inquisition has given mercy to lesser men in the past, when their intentions were in the right place. i don't see why we shouldn't give this man the chance to prove himself. since he had come for it all this way.'

'thank you for your imput, dorian.' the inquisitor said 'although it was not requested.' kihyun saw dorian smirk at that and bow slightly, and a small smile appeared at the corners of the inquisitor's mouth. they must be close, kihyun thought, or the man must be pretty brave to chime in uninvited like that.

the inquisitor nodded in josephine's direction and the soldiers stepped up back to kihyun's side. his heart started beating so fast he thought it'd jump out of his chest.

'yoo kihyun of tevinter, you are given the chance to fight under the inquisition's banners and prove your loyalty to our cause.' the inquisitor's voice was carried through the walls of the hall 'you can repent by joining the very squad whose soldiers you have murdered, by serving them in any way you can, whether at skyhold or outside of it.' 

'commander-' the inquisitor turned towards the crowd 'do you agree with my judgment?' 

the room was silent and everyone looked to the man standing beside minhyuk, as he himself looked to minhyuk for an answer. they shared a look for a second before the man turned to the inquisitor again.

'yes, your worship.'

'it is decided then.' the soldiers once again stepped away to give kihyun room. it all felt so official and scary, kihyun felt like his nerves were going to be the end of him sooner than the inquisitor's judgment would.

'but should you prove to be a traitor, there will be no more mercy.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as i had finished writing this, i just found out about kihyun's injury. cried a lot and almost had a panic attack, but i hope that he will be okay, even though i don't think he should be performing at all, i know he is kihyun, and this is such a kihyun thing to do.
> 
> i hope you enjoy this chapter even though im not very proud of it.


	8. harmony in all things

> _All sins are forgiven! All crimes pardoned!_  
>  _Let no soul harbor guilt!_  
>  _Let no soul hunger for justice!_  
>  _By the Maker's will I decree_  
>  _Harmony in all things._  
>  _—Exaltations 1:4_

 

   ` **XIV**`. wonho closed his eyes as he heard her voice, taking in a deep breath and cursing the maker for his timing. he finished up assembling his belongings and tying the last knot on his robe.

'i have heard of the inquisitor's verdict.' the visitor spoke out, her tone clearly asking to gain wonho's attention. 

he turned around and bowed politely, although with little sincerity. 'mother giselle. forgive me, but this is not the best time.'

'and yet i fear if i do not speak to you now, you may not give me another chance to do so for the next few weeks.' she answered calmly, and walked to gracefully sit down in one of the chairs next to the wall. 

it was clear she had no intention of leaving.

'very well.' wonho sighed and put his staff away again, ready to listen.

mother giselle looked around his humble quarters for a minute, three small beds, a table, two chairs and a large wardrobe. both minhyuk and the other agent that shared the room with wonho were not present, minhyuk had stayed at shownu's quarters for the past two nights, from what wonho understood, and he did not blame him. he wished they could spent more time together as well, but at the same time his mind was still far too troubled to truly appreciate minhyuk's presence at skyhold again. 

finally after a moment of silence and awaiting, she spoke up, voice as cooing as ever but wonho had known better than to trust her gentle image. he did not doubt she meant well, but her ways of achieving the things she wanted were quite questionable. he had found out the hard way. 

'the maker teaches us to forgive. and he offers forgiveness to those who seek it.'

'i know that, sister.' wonho sighed 'if you have come here to talk about the tevinter, then don't waste your-'

'that is exactly what i came here to talk about.' she interrupted him, leaning in as if afraid someone might overhear her words 'but i have not come to lecture you about the things you know already, as you said.' 

wonho raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to continue.

'i would never question our lord inquisitor's intentions... and yet, i fear for the undue influences of those surrounding him.' 

'undue... influences?' wonho repeated slowly, as if making sure that he was indeed hearing it right. 

'yes.' she nodded her head slowly, the ridiculous hat on her head flopping slightly as she did so. it was a wonder she even managed to move around in that robe. 'we have a powerful enemy. one that has corrupted the minds of many tevinters, and some of them have made their way into our home. i cannot help but fear what they may bring upon us.'

wonho blinked slowly. 'you are aware you are talking about the inquisitor's partner?' he questioned, and watched as the sister twitched visibly at those words. 

'i... have tried to get through to the herald about him, but it was to no avail. and the rumours only continued to spread. but now, a venatori agent on our very doorstep... even you must see that we simply cannot let this stand?'

wonho got up from the foot of the bed where he was sat down, ready to storm out of the room if only not to listen to this woman's madness for a second longer. 

'and what do you propose i do about that? oppose the inquisitor's direct order?' 

she straightened up in her chair, clearly dissatisfied with wonho's sudden hostility. 

'i had simply hoped to make you see the danger that we are in. forgiveness is something to be earned, but the maker does not look kindly on sinners and heretics. you must understand, that if that man-' 

'i understand.' wonho picked up his staff and turned around again to face the sister. 'i know the maker's word. but i don't know his will. and neither do you. this is the challange that he has presented us with. and i won't defy him, or the herald.' 

he walked towards the door and looked back at the sister, hoping she would understand his hospitality was at an end. 

she slowly stood up from the chair, lifting up her robes to gently bow at wonho, despite him knowing she wished she could just tell him off right there. 

'out of the respect i have for you and your work, sister, i will not tell the inquisitor of the things you have suggested here today.' he was about to open the door as another hand pushed on the handle from the outside and the wooden surface bumped into him with force. 

'i'm sorry.' shownu took a step back after wonho had stepped away from the door, rubbing at his shoulder.

'i- oh.' he hesitated as he saw sister giselle in the corner of the room and bowed at her stiffly 'the recruits are waiting. i was hoping to get you, so you could evaluate their skills, as was requested.' 

'i was on my way to do that, actually.' shownu nodded and sister giselle excused herself out of the room awkwardly, as shownu shifted to let her pass. wonho rolled his eyes at the commander with annoyance and shownu gave him an understanding smile, before they made their way towards the courtyard.

'did i mishear, or did you say _reqruits_? plural?' 

shownu sighed. 'new arrivals from this morning.' 

'and they _have to_ join us? after all we've just been through?' wonho protested.

'commander cullen wants to rebuild the unit... it's out of my hands, wonho.'

the mage immediately felt sorry for his remarks seeing how resigned his captain was. they have faced a huge loss, and yet there was no time to grieve or think on it. wonho had been so caught up in his own feelings and the inner rebellion he was facing at those times, he did not take the time to comfort his friends in the way he should have. 

they walked in silence down the stairs of the tower. shownu opened the doors to the courtyard and stood by as he gestured for wonho to walk through them. there was no sign of the sun over skyhold, only dark clouds and a cold breeze. 

'shownu' he spoke up and the qunari blinked his eyes at him, face tired but as shapely and pretty as ever. 'what would you say to an evening at the tavern? you, me and minhyuk. like the old times?'

shownu smiled at him. 'that sounds like a great plan.' 

the tevinter's silhouette came into their sight, and by his side a boy his height engulfed in a lively conversation. shownu nodded his head at wonho before making his leave. 

'see you tonight.' he added after turning back around awkwardly and then walking off. 

'i have only ever read about it, but if the books are true... i just find it so fascinating.'

'it's dangerous, first and foremost. but...'

'what is dangerous?' wonho appeared right next to the reqruits without them noticing, and it made one of them jump up.

he was an elf, young and with straight light brown hair, falling softly on his face that was doned by a detailed tattoo. 

the tevinter had been clearly taken aback by wonho's question, and dropped his eyes to the floor after looking at wonho's face for just a second. 

'blood magic-' the elf stuttered, taking a step back 'sir. we were talking about blood magic. i- i was just curious. i don't know much about mages in tevinter.' he explained humbly.

wonho looked them both up, unintentionally smacking his lips before responding.

'my name is wonho.' he figured introductions were in order 'the unit's mage leader and your tutor for the up and coming future.' he said with little enthusiasm in his voice, but he could not help it.

the elf bowed at him. 'i'm changkyun.' his voice was deep and almost too quiet, but melodic at the same time. 'i- um... i used to be a dalish mage. well, i still am.' he blabbered 'i was first to the keeper, for a very short time but... i look forward to working at your side. both of you.' his eyes switched from wonho to the other mage and he smiled timidly. 

wonho followed and looked over at the tevinter, who seemed to be doing anything to avoid direct eye contact. he considered whether he should wait for the man to speak, but seeing the awkward twitching changkyun was exhibiting at the sudden silence decided otherwise. 

'please follow me.'

 

 

'i'd rather not...' kihyun's eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head timidly.

wonho stepped back, allowing for more distance between them, as changkyun rested at the side. the boy had done well. wonho expected less of him, but he had to admit, his skills were quite impressive. different than anything he'd seen before.

'i'm not going to kill you.' wonho stated firmly and kihyun's eyes shot up to look at him. he looked sad. almost as if he wished for nothing more than to hide.

kihyun bit his lower lip and nodded his head shakily. 

'don't hold back.' wonho spun the staff in his hand, tapping it lightly on the ground beneath him and gathering up his focus. 'and send them at my legs.'

'yes, sir.' kihyun replied and brushed his black hair back before the same hand he used came into a fist before him and engulfed in flame. 

wonho summoned his barrier and before he knew it, a burst of heat bounced off it somewhere near his ankles. sparks burned the ground beneath him as kihyun fired another fireball, a little larger and faster. 

he saw the boy look up at him with hesitation. 

'defend yourself.' wonho shouted out. his staff turning towards his target, and buzzing in his hand as the tingling in his arm quickly transferred down onto it. 

kihyun stumbled back as a bright burst of energy shattered his barrier. he looked surprised, but his eyes scanned wonho's silhouette that was ready to unleash another attack, and he quickly summoned his defense spell again. his hair fell messily onto his forehead as he furrowed his eyebrows and with a grunt sent a bolt of lighting right the other mage's feet. but wonho barely even twitched, and kihyun felt a sudden sting as his feet froze onto the ground with a snap of wonho's fingers. kihyun's breaths started to become more ragged with each attack.

'is that all you've got?' wonho pressed forward, deflecting all adept worthy spells kihyun was casting at his feet. he saw the boy back away and hurriedly scan the training area they were in. wonho was just a few steps away from him, his staff coming up into the air to slam down onto the ground with a force that seemed to shake it. but the attack missed, as kihyun's silhouette faded and with a loud noise moved across the yard in a second. wonho couldn't even follow it with his eyes. he turned around and faced a low wall of flame that rose up in front of him as kihyun's fiery hand slowly rose with it. 

kihyun's eyes finally met his for what seemed like an eternity. and he saw fire in them too. or perhaps it was just the flames reflecting in his pupils. the boy straightened up and without looking away, his hand pointed at the ground before him, creating a burning ring that exploded as he turned his hand into a fist. then just as quickly, his staff pointed towards the sky and then onto the ground, fire balls coming down out of thin air to shower every inch of the ground he was pointing at with more explosions. he threw his staff into his other hand and as his clenched fist came to rest near his chest, the sky above him was swallowed by a sudden thunderstorm, bolts of lightning hitting inches away from him as he blinked. kihyun closed his eyes and his eyebrows furrowed as if he was in pain. but when he opened them, everything was gone. only what was left of the grass around them was scorching silently and threatening to burn. 

wonho stared at him in silence. the boy dropped his shoulders and started breathing heavily, sweat dripping down his forehead as if it was the middle of summer in orlais. 

with each heavy blink of his eyes, the fury in them was replaced with the same cowardly look from before. 

'woah...' changkyun commented to himself a little too loudly, but it was the only thing that turned wonho's attention away from the mage before him and he realised the grip on his staff was so tight it started to hurt his hand. 

they all stayed in silence for a moment more, as wonho tried to gather his composure. 

'being able to reserve your mana in battle is an important skill.' he commented bitterly and watched kihyun drop his head slightly as changkyun eyed him with surprise.

wonho cleared his throat. 'i should let you both rest after that.' he hesitated before straightening up his robes and focusing his attention on chankyun, as kihyun stood firmly in his place. 'the proper training will begin soon.'

changkyun sent him a shy reassuring smile and a polite bow as wonho started to walk off. he turned back around with a sigh, realising just how horribly hostile he was being. 'welcome to the team.' he spoke up again, mostly to changkyun but knowing kihyun must have heard it too. 'i am glad to have you here.'

 

 

'wonho!' minhyuk navigated his way through the crowd excitedly hopping towards him. 'finally... i know you orlesians like to be fashionably late, but this is just _late_ late!' he yelled out before throwing his hands over wonho's broad shoulders and suspending himself in his arms.

'i see you've started drinking without me.' wonho chuckled, minhyuk's eyes glistening and his cheeks painted pink from the alcohol. he took a look towards the bar, trying to spot shownu, who was surrounded by a few more familiar faces. 'we aren't alone?'

'it's a tavern! of course we aren't alone.' minhyuk exclaimed, holding wonho's hand tightly in his as he led him towards the rest of the team.

'minhyuk suggested that we invite everyone in our unit.' shownu hurried to explain seeing wonho's eyes that scanned the people surrounding them 'after everything... i thought it might do them some good to get their minds off of it and get drunk... minhyuk has made a head start as you can see.' he smiled, nodding his head in the elf's direction.

'hey.' minhyuk slurred out 'i see you two judging me. but i know, that i deserve this.' his fingers pointed down ostentatiously as if tapping on a surface that wasn't there. 

'you do.' wonho nodded reassuringly 'and it was a good idea, shownu. they all deserve to have some fun.'

'bartender!' minhyuk waved his hand towards the dwarf behind the bar, who just gave him an annoyed look 'another round for my friend here. actually, make that two. he needs to catch up.' minhyuk climbed up on his tiptoes to put his arm around wonho's shoulder and pat his back a few times.

wonho sat down in the free stool next to shownu, and sipped on the drink he was served a few moments later. it was by no means good, cheapest ale they could find probably, but who could blame them. just one tavern in a fortress filled with hundreds of soldiers, wonho imagined stocking up that place must have been a nightmare. 

'wonho~!' minhyuk's melodic voice called out, dragging new prey behind him 'have you met jooheon yet? this is jooheon. isn't he just the cutest?' minhyuk announced as the boy in question smiled at him brightly, eyes squeezing shut as minhyuk leaned on him as if they knew each other for years. 

'commander.' he nodded his head at shownu with a smile, then turning towards wonho. 'hi-' the elf welcomed him as minhyuk's voice loudly interrupted.

'changkyunah!' 

minhyuk ran up to changkyun to grab his arm and drag him towards shownu and wonho as well.

'how does he make friends that quickly?' wonho chuckled.

'it's a mystery to me too.' shownu answered amused, finishing his drink and waving over at the waitress that happened to walk past them. she winked at him and took his cup without a word to quickly fill it up again.

'you've met changkyunnie already, right?' minhyuk reappeared at wonho's side just as quickly as he ran off. 'he told me all about your hardcore training session!'

'no i-' changkyun panicked 'i didn't say anything bad at all.' he explained himself to wonho as minhyuk raised his eyebrow and stared, inches away from the boy's face. 'i really was impressed by your skill. i'm really excited to learn from you.' changkyun smiled sheepishly. wonho could tell he was drunk too, he swayed a little under the weight of minhyuk's arm and he was smiling a great deal more than before. another benefit of being drunk, wonho noticed, is that people tend to look and act much happier after they've a few.

'i am certain we can both learn a lot from each other.' wonho smiled at the boy too. 'i was very impressed with your technique, and the way you seem to draw your energy from the fade-' 

'blah blah!' minhyuk interrupted 'enough with the magic talk! you can torture him more tomorrow!' he pulled at changkyun's arm and led him away, commenting quite loudly while at it. 'they are just no fun, are they? don't worry, minhyuk will save you.'

'so,' shownu chuckled under his breath 'changkyun?'

'he'll do well. i'm sure if it.' wonho nodded and they just looked at each other, both smiling for the first time in what felt like forever. 

'and the other one?'

'well...' wonho looked down at his cup and traced his finger on its brim as he tried to think of an answer. 'is he here?' he asked suddenly, catching shownu off guard.

shownu nodded slowly. 'minhyuk insisted. he's the one that helped him escape.'

'he's also the one who tortured him.' silence fell upon them, despite how loud everything else around them was, enthusiastic shouts coming from the tables behind them. 

'it doesn't sit right with me either.' shownu said after a moment of contemplation. 'but i trust minhyuk.'

'trust me with what?' minhyuk chimed in, leaning his head on shownu's shoulder as the commander turned his head and their noses bumped into each other. he quickly turned away, embarrassed, and minhyuk just laughed. 

'it's almost scary the way you just appear out if nowhere.' wonho commented.

'perks of being an amazing assassin.' minhyuk shrugged.

'except you're not one.' shownu teased and minhyuk just pouted in return. 

'for that, commander, you have to come dance with me.' minhyuk said determined 'you too, wonho!'

'i think i'll need a barrel of this crappy ale before i ever do that.'

minhyuk shook his head with disapprovement. 'come on, both of you!' the elf pulled at shownu's arm but the qunari barely flinched, just raised his eyebrows at minhyuk knowing the boy had no chance against him in terms of strength. 

'mooooove!' minhyuk insisted, giving up on pulling shownu's arm and instead focusing on pulling his stool out from underneath him. shownu stood up so the boy would stop struggling, but he saw it as an opening and managed to snatch shownu's hand and pull him towards the centre of the tavern, shouting out triumphant phrases as the commander protested behind him.

wonho couldn't help but laugh to himself as he watched them walk off. there was indeed a crowd in the middle of the bottom floor, either swaying to the music awkwardly or dancing _very_  energetically as the bards switched from playing the slow and solemn songs he was used to hearing during the day, to lively music. he didn't know any of the songs, but some more courageous patrons who did, seemed to be putting their whole souls into singing along with the bard. and there were many of them, inquisition's soldiers, scouts returned from their tasks, cooks and messengers, and the common folk, gathered around the tables. smiles on their faces. the atmosphere was good. it almost made wonho forget the place they were in, and the reasons for it as well. 

minhyuk was trying to get shownu to move, jumping up and down in place and showing off his dancing skills, encouraging the commander to follow. shownu's eyes were almost entirely closed from the way he was smiling so bright, throwing his head back in embarrassment as he slowly gave in to minhyuk's begging and started swaying to the music, to the elf's utter enjoyment. 

wonho must have looked pathetic, sitting by himself and watching the pair closely, but it was the happiest he could be. he looked at them, at minhyuk's smile and energy. how could he have ever lived without it? tears started gathering in his eyes, before he rubbed away at them and downed his drink.

they made each other happy, any fool could see it, and for wonho their happiness was all that mattered. shownu and minhyuk were in their own drunken world, and he needed to drown himself in ale too before he could walk up and join them, and forget everything for just one more night. 

 

 

the tavern was so much more stuffy and boiling hot compared to his stone cold quarters. wonho sat down on his bed as the world around him spinned, the alcohol showing its true effects. he took a deep breath, banishing the urge to vomit from his mind and realised just how tired he was. 

he did end up dancing, only to give up after a short while and join the rest of the team at their table. they all welcomed him with smiles, some pointing out how they hadn't seen him in too long. it's true, they all used to be less busy and had time to train and catch up as a group. as they grew larger and the inquisition conquered new terrains, there never seemed to be enough time. minhyuk leaned against shownu's side as he, wonho and jooheon chatted lively, and listened to the new reqruit's story of how they had joined up. they all had those stories, and not one was the same. he and changkyun managed to talk a little more about their _magic bullshit_ , as minhyuk would say and it was a pleasant conversation as well. wonho decided, that they were good people, if not a little awkward and wild at times, but he didn't mind. 

wonho's eyes shot open as he heard a repetitive sound of knocking, and he hadn't even realised they were closed and he had been dozing off on the edge of his bed for a moment. 

'come in?' he shouted out and cleared his throat realising how raspy his voice had gotten. 

the door creaked open but no one stepped in, and he turned his head, alarmed, only to see a silhouette stand in the doorway without moving. 

the man shoved his hands in his pockets before taking a small step in, revealing himself from the darkness that swallowed the world behind wonho's own humble four walls. 

'i'm really sorry if i'm interrupting.' kihyun spoke up in a silent voice, eyeing wonho hesitantly. 'hi...' 

'hi.' wonho answered awkwardly. he didn't expect any visitors. hell, he didn't even expect minhyuk to be coming back to their room after the previous few nights. 

'i... i just needed to talk to you.' kihyun stated firmly, lifting his head up and standing with more confidence. 'i figured tonight might be the best time, before it all gets any...'

'any more hostile?' wonho finished his sentence, and kihyun nodded, as if the man had just read his mind. 

wonho nodded and shifted on his bed to make more room, hoping kihyun gets the clue. the boy closed the door after him and slowly walked to sit down next to wonho. 

'i know you must hate me.' kihyun began, not meeting wonho's eyes, and his voice broke a little at the end of his sentence. he tried to regain his composure and keep talking. wonho could see his eyes were cloudy too, and his nose and ears were bright red. either from the cold or the alcohol, he could not tell. it was kind of cute. 

'i don't expect you to ever trust me. or like me. after everything i did to you and your friends, for me to barge into your home and remind you of all the things you've lost because of me, i know how that feels. i can't do that to you. it's too cruel.'

wonho furrowed his eyebrows and stared. 

kihyun took in a deep breath that was cut off by wonho's emotionless voice. 

'you killed my friends.' he said and kihyun's breath hitched. he looked like he was about to cry. 'which ones? how did they look like? i need to know whose blood you have on your hands, whose life-' 

he suddenly stopped talking and turned his head away, staring off into space. 

kihyun's hand was trembling on his lap, the other one gripped at the sheets on wonho's bed tightly. he opened his mouth to talk and when nothing came out, he closed it again. 

'one.' he said 'i killed one of them. she was a girl. a dwarf. i don't remember her. i don't remember how she looked or how it happened... i never meant to.' tears started flooding down kihyun's face and wonho finally looked over at him, surprised and uncertain of how he should react.

'i thought i could be better... here...' kihyun wiped the tears from his face quickly as he mumbled out his words. 'i want to be better. i want to atone for what i've done to you.' 

they were silent again, only kihyun's heavy breathing and muffled noises from the outside. 

'minhyuk trusts you.' wonho said calmly.

kihyun lifted his chin and blinked his eyes a few times before answering. 'he does?'

wonho looked at him and suddenly his heart ached. what was it that was making him hate the boy in front of him so much? was it really grief? was it the anger he felt inside? was it prejudice? was it jealousy? 

kihyun stared at him in complete silence, a stray tear rolling down his face. there was no more fire in his eyes. no more of the fury he saw that morning in the courtyard. just a small spark that disappeared and reignited again each time he blinked. wonho's hand shot up and quickly wiped the tear from his face before it had the chance to fall. kihyun's head jerked back in surprise. 

wonho's head was clouded. it felt like it completely detached from his body and cut off any communication with his brain. he launched forward and felt his lips crash against kihyun's, far from gentle, as his hand held the back of kihyun's neck in place. 

the boy blinked back at him, eyes wide and wonho had no idea what was happening. and then kihyun leaned forward and shut his eyes tight, kissing wonho gentler, hesitantly but somehow so confidently. wonho pulled at his hair, tilting kihyun's head back as he slid his tounge in kihyun's mouth, meeting his as if in a frenzy. kihyun's hand gripped tightly at his shoulder, then slid down his chest, pushing him away and pulling him in at the same time, nails digging through his clothes. their teeth clinked, and wonho's lungs started screaming for oxygen, but he didn't care, didn't listen to them. just focused on quite literally devouring kihyun as he was before him, his mind not truly realising the reality of the situation. 

'woah!' wonho pulled away in surprise, eyeing kihyun quickly, confused as to how he made that sound.

'this... well... alright!' minhyuk exclaimed as his hand held onto the frame of the door. his eyes were wide open and he was failing to keep in a fit of laughter, so he covered his mouth with his hand and took a step back. 

wonho lifted himself up in utter confusion, somehow finding himself completely on top of kihyun as the man's head was almost hanging off the edge of the bed. 

'no, no, don't stop because of me!' minhyuk exclaimed as he pulled the door back, hiding behind it 'i'll just sleep at shownu's quarters again. pretend i was never here!' 

'minhyuk-' wonho tried to shout out in a broken voice. 

'bye bye now!' minhyuk shut the door with a loud thud and complete silence fell over the room. somehow the cold air the elf had let in for a brief moment completely sobered wonho up and left him in a state his hazed mind could only describe as _what the fuck?_

'i am so sorry.' kihyun wiggled his way out of the bed, as if trying to get away from wonho as quickly as possible without any physical contact. 

'i'm so sorry.' he repeated and pulled up the edge of his shirt that had slipped down his arm, exposing his neck. 'i had... way too much to drink.' he walked towards the door, stumbling over his own feet. 

'i should go.' he announced as his hand touched the door, but didnt move, just stared at wonho with his mouth slightly open, waiting for him to say anything.

after a moment he closed his mouth and swallowed down visibly, only nodding his head before pushing down on the handle and letting the cold air wash into wonho's room again.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ummm... so yeah... i did that i guess.....
> 
> :D 
> 
> we are enterring into the part where all chapters are just from one character's perspective (and a lot longer apparently? i didnt even realise how long this one turned out!!)... please let me know what you think of that and if you hate it i promise to change it!
> 
> also go ahead and try to guess who the next chapter will focus on hehe
> 
> thank you for reading, as always, and if you decide to leave a comment, i am forever grateful!
> 
> ***  
> BONUS:
> 
> minhyuk barged into the room, slamming the door behind him.  
> 'you won't believe what i just witnessed."  
> shownu eyed him curiously.  
> 'wonho and kihyun. _going at it._ '  
> 'going at it? they were fighting?!'  
> 'shownu. they were kissing.'  
> 'oh... OH-'


	9. trail of the rebels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea how to put what i am feeling right now and what i have been feeling for the last few days into words.  
> there are no words to describe the pain and helplessness in this situation.  
> wonho will always be a part of me, a part of monsta x and a part of every single person in this world who truly loves him the way he loves us.  
> nothing can change that.  
> i can only hope that this will end. that i will get to see him smile again.  
> i have decided to finish this chapter today to distract my mind for just a bit.  
> please keep fighting for him. keep fighting and supporting all seven of them.  
> and take care of yourselves. he will know our love. it will reach him. just keep putting it out there for him to see.

> _Darkness fell upon the Lonely One,_  
>  _A night without moon or stars,_  
>  _As the legion followed, like bloodhounds,_  
>  _The trail of the rebels_.

 

   ` **XV**`. as weeks went by, the nights became all the more unbearable. not for the cold winds, or the silence of the sands, or the never-ending waiting.

it was simple loneliness, overtaking and slowly killing him from the inside. 

a tear fell from hyungwon's eye and onto the velvety cushion with a soft thud, as he listened to the small noises surrounding him. 

the fluttering of the tent's walls was the only one his ears could identify. but the one he missed the most, the one he longed for, was laughter. 

hyungwon was angry. for a couple of days he was angry, furious, betrayed and humiliated. then came the regret that did not leave him so quickly. and emptiness, one kihyun had left behind and one hyungwon could not get rid of, not until he knew for certain if he'd ever see him again. and there was no way of knowing. 

hyungwon wondered at what point the bond between him and kihyun had broken. questioned how many other things the man hid from him, and how he ever let himself believe kihyun's loyalty lied only with him. 

it was since their first night outside of tevinter that hyungwon had missed the warmth and safety of his room. his bed, that kihyun would sneak into when everyone at the mansion disappeared into their beds. and they would talk the night through until one of them fell asleep mid-sentence. and through the years, as they ran out of things to talk about every night, their conversations would only get more imaginative and absurd.

they would play this game, where they both came up with characters, as if in a book or play, making a new story every night. sometimes they were enemies, mage and templar, although hyungwon would always force kihyun to play the role of the templar despite the boy's disapproval. other times it was a fereldan soldier, common folk with ridiculous backstories, a criminal and town guard, a bard and an orlesian noble. hell, hyungwon even recalls the time he turned into empress celene for a night. 

hyungwon liked the times they played starcrossed lovers, or forbidden romances. and although he refused to call it anything other than his need for physical contact, he liked the times kihyun kissed his lips so delicately, as they giggled about the scenario they were playing out. 

within those four walls he was safe, with kihyun by his side he was safe. in this vast wilderness, he was nothing but prey. for the inquisition or for the creatures that roamed the place to tear apart at any given moment. 

 

hyungwon patted down his crumbled velvet robe as he waited by the gates. the wind blew in from behind, sending his overgrown curls of hair right into his eyes. the venatori soldiers stood behind him, impatient shimmering and unorganised footsteps sounding out. a couple of dozen men, all wildered and tired from living in the desert for weeks. so was he, and yet they still blamed him for all of it. 

someone behind the walls shouted out a command and the gate creaked with the most ungodly sound hyungwon had heard in his life. it slowly lifted, opening the way into the courtyard of the fortress. 

hyungwon slowly walked in, each step more heavy, and the footsteps were like bells ringing mercilessly in his head. the soldiers filled the courtyard on both of his sides, as he stood still in front of his superiors.

silence ensued as the magister looked upon the battered venatori, before resting his glare on hyungwon and speaking out.

'chae hyungwon, you are hereby relieved of your duty of commanding this patrol.' he said in the coldest way imaginable, turning his gaze away as if he couldn't bare looking at hyungwon anymore.

'venatori' the magister addressed the troops 'you are now under my immediate command. you have shown your strength and loyalty to the elder one and it will not go unrewarded. the keep is ours to occupy, so let yourself gather strength before the next battle.' 

the soldiers stood there, silent and still. 'now.' the magister shouted in a stern voice and only then did they seem to slowly understand they needed to move out of his way while they still could.

the magister waited, eyeing the soldiers as they walked trough the courtyard and into the centre of the keep. 

'follow me.' he said coldly, turning his back on hyungwon immediately and storming in the direction of the stairs. 

hyungwon did as he was told, keeping up with the magister's pace. he felt like he should have been scared. yet he wasn't. his heart was still and his breath was normal as ever. 

the door slammed shut behind him, as the magister raised his hand in a rapid motion and the fireplace lit up in the split of a second. then he stared at it in silence and hyungwon did not dare speak up first.

'i have created a failure.' 

hyungwon's jaw clenched.

'i have given you all a child could desire.' the man growled 'yet you grew up to be _nothing_.'

'tell me how you let that traitor escape right under your nose?' hyungwon's eyes dropped to the ground as the magister turned around abruptly with a deadly stare. 'while you slept in your silken robes. where was your patrol? the people i have given you to be at your every whim?'

hyungwon swallowed down to stop his throat from closing in. 'they killed the patrol, sir.'

'you're telling me a pathetic little mage servant and a starving elf made their way through a camp of skilled soldiers killing all in their way?' he scoffed. 

a silence ensued. 

'that boy is dead.' the magister said in a low growl. 'he is dead to me and he is dead to you.' 

the man walked up to hyungwon, hovering over his lean silhouette and grabbed the boy's chin to force him to meet his gaze. hyungwon shuddered.

'and you will make sure that becomes true.' the magister whispered 'until the traitor's head is impaled on the gates of this keep, you are not and will never be my son.'

 

 

   ` **XVI**`. 'what exactly are we supposed to be doing?' minhyuk inquired as he made his way through the tall grass, it's brushing against his body making his skin tingle. he tried lifting his hands up to avoid it, but realised he looked like an idiot doing so. 

they had been on the road back to skyhold for a few days now, returning with new supplies as well as scouts from their unit who had been relieved of their duties and allowed to return home. 

shownu stopped for a moment to turn around and face him with a suspicious smile. he was several steps ahead of him, grey skin lit up by the rays of sun coming down onto the meadow. he looked pretty. as if the sun radiated from him, instead of the sky. 

'would you just be patient for once?' he chuckled awkwardly, nodded his head at minhyuk and turned around to keep going forward. 

'we're in the middle of nowhere!' minhyuk shouted, throwing his hands in the air and spinning in a circle to prove his point. 

shownu stopped again, eyeing him carefully. minhyuk crossed his hands on his chest, signalising that he is not moving. shownu gave him a challenging look and sighed after a moment. 

'if that's how you want to do it.' he said, taking a few determined steps towards minhyuk, who had no idea what the man meant by _that_. 

shownu leaned over and grabbed minhyuk's legs so quickly, the elf barely had time to let out a small yelp. shownu threw him over his shoulders as if the boy weighed nothing and calmly turned back in his desired direction, while minhyuk started hitting his back in process, yelling out all kinds of curse words. 

minhyuk's world was upside down and his head bopped with each step shownu took. he could swear he heard the man giggle while he relentlessly punched him in hopes of being released, only to give up after about two minutes. 

'this is kidnapping.' minhyuk shouted out 'torture and imprisonment... again!' 

shownu didn't react, just pulled on his legs to readjust the way minhyuk hung over his shoulder. 

'from the venatori, i expected it, but from the person i trust most... no! never. yet here we are!' the elf kept shouting out in a dramatic tone.

'i am the person you trust most?' shownu slowed down as he picked up on minhyuk's words with a curious tone. 

'well not fucking anymore, that's for sure!' minhyuk yelled back until his voice cracked. 

'are you all done now?' shownu asked slowly, and minhyuk realised that they weren't walking anymore. well, shownu wasn't. he'd stopped somewhere where the grass seemed to be shorter and no longer tickled the top of minhyuk's head. 

'yes.' the elf replied reluctantly in hopes of being released and immediately after, shownu leaned over and slowly placed him on the ground before him. 

minhyuk took a swing at his chest but once again it left shownu unaffected. 'asshole.'

'we're here.' shownu announced, looking over minhyuk's shoulder. 

the boy turned around, only to notice they were near the edge of a cliff, looking over what seemed to be an endless forest. minhyuk was confused.

shownu smiled at him awkwardly before walking towards the edge and putting his bag down. minhyuk watched as the man took out a small crate and a few pouches out of it and set them on the ground. he sat down on the grass and slowly turned around to gesture for minhyuk to join him. 

'what is this?' the elf questioned. 

'i-' shownu hesitated 'it's just...' he sighed. 'i just wanted us to have some time to ourselves. a break, i suppose.' 

his shoulders seemed tense but then he took a deep breath and turned to look ahead onto the forest and the cloudy skies ahead. 'i just thought this was a nice place for it.'

shownu had been tired. ever since minhyuk came back to skyhold, every day shownu would return to his chamber and as he lied down in bed he sank into the sheets as if all life had drained from him. it was a kind of unspoken agreement that minhyuk had moved into shownu's quarters instead of staying in his room with wonho and another agent. no one really minded the change, and it became natural for them to come back from their daily tasks and fall asleep with the comfort of each other's presence in bed. 

now he looked peaceful. still troubled, but it seemed as if he wanted to put all that aside just for a moment. so minhyuk sat down next to him, without saying a word and looked ahead just like shownu. he took deep breaths, the fresh breezy air filling his lungs, and it felt as if it was the first time he had properly breathed in weeks. 

'my life used to be so much simpler.' shownu chuckled out of nowhere 'involved killing people too, of course, but...' 

minhyuk turned his head to watch as shownu's eyes wandered through the wilderness before them, as if searching for answers. 

'i didn't care for the people i worked with. or worked for. and they didn't care for me. if they died... it didn't affect me.' shownu spoke slowly, as if fighting with each word he said. his eyes met minhyuk's for a moment and his gaze lingered before he smiled. 

'what i'm trying to say, i suppose, is... i'm glad you are here.' he said before shaking his head rapidly 'no. i'm more than glad, i- minhyuk, when i thought i lost you, i wanted to leave it all. leave skyhold, leave the inquisition, run away, just anywhere. it all stopped making sense. fighting these people's battle, losing for them, dying.'

minhyuk's heartbeat became more rapid, irrationally, as he watched small pools of tears glisten in the corners of shownu's eyes. shownu wasn't good with words, or pouring out his emotions. so minhyuk sat there silently, taking in every word. 

'i know this is a lot to ask. but i just can't lose you again.' shownu looked straight in minhyuk's eyes and the boy found it hard not to look away 'don't give your life up for this. i know it's what they want us to do. what they expect us to do. and maybe it's selfish to ask you this... even if it makes the world end. let's just be selfish from now on.'

minhyuk knew exactly what shownu was asking. they devoted themselves to this cause, because it was what seemed right at the time. and as important as the inquisition had become to minhyuk, there was something he'd give his life up for first. someone. 

shownu twitched nervously at minhyuk's silence and the boy realised he froze, instead of giving shownu reassurance. 

minhyuk nodded his head lightly. forgetting all that was around them, his hand landed gently on top of shownu's and he let himself tangle their fingers. 

and then they were stuck there, looking anywhere but in each other's eyes, absolute silence around them. until minhyuk thought it was ridiculous. 

he turned his head abruptly and shownu noticed him staring with a fire in his eyes. 

'what?' the qunari asked almost in a whisper, and minhyuk took it as a sign to move.

he bent over in shownu's direction and swiftly climbed in his lap, shownu's hands dropping to the ground as he leaned back.

minhyuk's hand gripped at shownu's chin and angled it up, before letting their lips meet, ever so gently as his entire body shuddered in panic over what he was doing. 

but there was no backing out, and shownu's lips pressed against his harder, as his hand slowly gripped at minhyuk's side. minhyuk's eyes squeezed shut and all his senses focused on the way shownu tasted and felt. deepening the kiss and digging his nails into shownu's back. trying to say so much without saying anything. 

they continued until minhyuk was out of breath, and as soon as they pulled away minhyuk felt the unfounded urge to cry. he buried himself in the crook of shownu's neck to chase that urge away, the older man's arms wrapping around him, tracing down his back and through his hair, in what felt like the safest embrace.

and they stayed like that for minutes on end, until minhyuk started giggling out of nowhere, until the sun started setting down behind them and they knew people were waiting for them, but did not care.


End file.
